Students say Brigham Young University is policing this behavior even more than its parent church does.


Brigham Young University administrators have put an explicit ban on “same-sex romantic behavior” in the school’s Honor Code, and students say it goes farther than the Mormon Church’s policy on same-sex relationships.

In 2020, BYU deleted a ban on “homosexual behavior” from the Honor Code, leading some LGBTQ+ students to celebrate. But soon afterward, the Church Educational System, which governs all the BYU campuses, clarified that the deletion didn’t mean “same-sex romantic behavior” was acceptable. Last month, it added the language prohibiting “same-sex romantic behavior” to the code.

“Though the ban had never really lost its effect, for some students the official restoration of it still felt like a gut punch,” Religion News Service reports.

The Honor Code tells BYU students to live “a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman.” With the new language, it notes that “living a chaste and virtuous life also includes abstaining from same-sex romantic behavior.”

BYU is affiliated with the Mormon Church (officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), which opposes same-sex relationships. The church won’t perform same-sex marriages and expects the faithful to refrain from sexual activity with members of the same gender. It also opposes gender transition, and church leaders have said that LGBTQ+ activism comes from Satan.

But some BYU students say certain LDS congregations look the other way when a member is dating someone of the same sex, while the college is policing dating relationships.

“Depending on where you are, who your religious leaders are, you can actually date people of the same sex with very little church repercussions,” BYU student Gracee Purcell, president of the RaYnbow Collective, a group for the college’s queer students and alumni, told Religion News Service. “At BYU, that usually gray line within the church is a hard line. Anything that they deem homosexual behavior, or same-sex romantic behavior, is not allowed.”

That “romantic behavior” could include dating, holding hands, or kissing. If a student engages in any of these, “as in years past, each situation will be handled on a case-by-case basis to help each student feel the love of the Savior and to encourage them to live their gospel covenants and university/college commitments,” says a list of BYU’s answers to frequently asked questions.

LGBTQ+ groups for BYU students and alums opposed the prohibition but said at least the school is being up front about its attitudes. “I’m just glad people can now finally see explicitly what’s happening,” Evelyn Telford, a vice president of Understanding Sexuality, Gender & Allyship, told the news service. “There’s no way to get around it that they are openly being discriminatory to queer students.” But it will make queer students feel more isolated and under scrutiny by others, she said.

The LGBTQ+ groups will continue doing their work, and the RaYnbow Collective will hold its annual off-campus Back-to-School Pride event in Provo, Utah, September 16. Provo is home to BYU’s main campus, and the school also has campuses in Idaho and Hawaii. Ensign College in Salt Lake City is governed by the Church Educational System as well.

Despite BYU’s anti-LGBTQ+ policies, queer students come to the university because of academics, family connections, or other reasons, Telford said. And some may not recognize they’re queer until they’re in college. That was the case with her, she said.

“It’s such a personal decision to be at BYU, and your sexuality shouldn’t mean you don’t deserve a place there,” she told Religion News Service.

Purcell added, “The lack of representation and the increase in religious and societal pressures won’t stop queer students from coming. But it will hurt them.”


  • @SheeEttin
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    -401 year ago

    Religious grounds. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to go there. And it’s private, so no federal funds that come with strings attached.

    • @Kittengineer
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      371 year ago

      If a religion said black people are a sin and should be avoided… and then started a school with rules banning any contact with black folks, would you treat it the same? Religious grounds, private school, just don’t go there?

      • @dmonzel
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        331 year ago

        Wait, isn’t that just BYU 30 years ago?

        • @Kittengineer
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          91 year ago

          Exactly. We figured it that wasn’t right then in the same way this isn’t right now.

      • @afraid_of_zombies
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        01 year ago

        I forgot what Christian school did it but they banned interracial dating for a while as well.

      • @[email protected]
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        -91 year ago

        I would.

        They certainly shouldn’t be receiving taxpayer money, but if people want to go to a place like that then they should be allowed to. If it teaches the material relevant to their discipline in a satisfactory way, I don’t see why accreditation agencies should look past that.

        • ℛ𝒶𝓋ℯ𝓃
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          131 year ago

          If you sit at a table with 10 Nazis, there are 11 Nazis at the table.

          The paradox of tolerating the intolerant…

            • @Kittengineer
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              71 year ago

              Take everything Nazis believe. Now just say it’s a religion. Now they start a school to spread their beliefs.

              According to you, that’s totally ok… hence the statement.

              The paradox of tolerance to a T

              • @[email protected]
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                -91 year ago

                Well first off, we’re not talking about Nazis.

                An accreditation agency shouldn’t be the ones who dictate what is done by colleges beyond academics. They’re not accrediting ‘social acceptance.’ They’re accrediting academic merit.

                “Yeah they have a great x program, but we’re not going to accredit them because of their rules against same-sex PDA.”

                This is just you being upset that everyone isn’t on board with censoring those you don’t like.

                • @Kittengineer
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                  31 year ago

                  What is the difference between discriminating against blacks or Jews or women vs discriminating against gay people?

                  Being gay is not a choice. Someone liking people of the same sex is no more controllable than you liking members of the opposite sex. Do you actively choose to like women and dislike men (or vice versa if you’re a women)? Are you saying someone could tell you something and somehow convince you to find men attractive?

                  This isn’t censoring an opinion, this is basic human rights.

                  • @[email protected]
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                    01 year ago

                    Lol, I don’t think you’re arguing with the right person.

                    None of what you’re telling me is new. You’re just ignoring my point and saying something.

                    None of this has to do with academic merit, which is what accreditation agencies are for.

                • @[email protected]
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                  31 year ago

                  You’ve missed the point - the world is moving on and cretins like the administration at BYU need to get the point. These motherfuckers don’t believe in evolution…that alone indicates they aren’t fit to educate. Fuck BYU and the LDS

                  • BaldProphet
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                    11 year ago

                    Ironically, the best lesson about evolution I ever had was the subject of a course I took at Brigham Young University-Idaho. I highly recommend “From Atoms to Humans” for any students there.

        • @assassin_aragorn
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          -11 year ago

          So if a private university teaches proper math classes, and also has a mandatory training class on war and tactics for establishing a non-white ethnostate, you’d be cool with people going there?

          Shit with you in charge, the Nazis just needed to provide good education in the concentration camps and it’d be above board, wouldn’t it?

          • @[email protected]
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            -21 year ago

            Sorry, I’m not going to entertain that hypothetical.

            Keep believing what you want to believe. This has gotten old.

    • @reddig33
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      251 year ago

      Unlike Baylor where they get federal funds but ignore federal rules anyway.

    • @[email protected]
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      221 year ago

      BYU should never receive any federal funds at all, in fact, they should be paying the government taxes.

      Religion is disgusting

    • Uranium3006
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      121 year ago

      The church robs your parents with intense pressure to donate too much with the expectation you’ll just end up at BYU. Lots of people are there because it was their only realistic option

      • @SheeEttin
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        241 year ago

        Yeah, which is why nobody should support Mormonism.

        • originalucifer
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          -21 year ago

          no need to do the whataboutisms here, just jump to the logical ‘all religion is bad, m’kay’. it really is a nasty vestige of humanities upbringing… like slavery, but with more steps.

          • ℛ𝒶𝓋ℯ𝓃
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            31 year ago

            In “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” by Friederich Nietzsche, the “prophet” went into the forest to meditate on the death of god, and met a monk. He spoke to the monk, and only after leaving did he contemplate: “Has he not realized that god is dead?”

            He never told the monk. He lets him believe what he wants, because god is dead, and religion will die soon enough without ruining the lives of those who depend on it - those who cannot accept the truth.

            Nietzsche also said that many “should not read my books, if they can.” The realization of god’s non-credibility cannot be forced, one must come upon it on their own…

            • originalucifer
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              31 year ago

              i am realizing now one of my favorite ideals (not sure where i heard it) seems derived from that; ‘you cannot logic someone out of something they did not logic themselves into’

              • @lars
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                21 year ago

                Jonathan Swift appears to have authored its first incantation in 1721:

                Reasoning will never make a Man correct an ill Opinion, which by Reasoning he never acquired

    • @[email protected]
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      1 year ago

      If they don’t want to have rules that our society finds acceptable they don’t have any right to just exist. This isn’t a person were talking about they are an education institution. A school cannot by definition have a religion because it isn’t a person. I don’t particularly care if the people wo made the school are themselves religious; that should not give them the right to use their new founded institution to enforce those beliefs on other people. If you want to teach people I think you should be held to certain standards, and one of those standards is that you shouldn’t restrict the freedom of your students.

      Having sexual morality rules is absolutely restricting their freedom. People have a right to privacy that such rules inherently violate.

    • @afraid_of_zombies
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      01 year ago

      Federal funds go there and even if they didn’t they are still tax free.