I feel like the selfies are basically fake, a trick of software and good angles, I’m also kinda convicened the one st a distance in the black top is pixel camera shangeans. I feel like realstixlly the graduation one is how most people see me. I just hate how I look, and I feel awful. I almost feel like HRT hasn’t done anytging, maybe it can’t for me. Maybe male puberty just hit too hard? If I got off of HRT lost 100 pounds than started again would it see acual effects
You need therapy. This is one of many posts you’ve made about this, but I think you’re ignoring people’s advice.
There is also lots of experimentation you can do within HRT treatment itself if you want to. Different AA/GnHRa, different oestrogen intake method/dose (monitor bloods), progesterone.
There’s also surgeries if you’re desperate, but I think above all you need therapy, you need to learn to love yourself as you are. Otherwise you will just keep going round and round in this depression cycle, and nothing will get better.
I know this isnt anyone else’s problem and I should likely keep my problems to myself but I can’t afford it. Also I don’t exactly think that statments I make are invalid
It’s possible you can get some group therapy sessions for free, they might help. Either way the journey is mostly an internal one, self reflection and development is free. I would advise either looking for resources online, or trying to find self help groups out there where you can more openly talk about your own feelings.
I’m not sure what you are looking for by posting though, is it validation? Help? People offered both of those from what I can see. Unfortunately HRT isn’t a magical fix-all, but it helps as much as it can.
Maybe people can help with your HRT medication if you post some numbers relating to it, I’m not sure how you’re sourcing it right now if you’re low on money but it might help to have some advice there.
Besides regular therapy, lots of places also have employee assistance programs (EAP) that are no cost. That’s how I got started.
There are ways to get free or reduced cost therapy.
If you are employed, see if your health insurance plan covers therapy. If not, see if there is an Employee Assistance Program or something similar.
If you are a student, check with your school/college/university, many offer free therapy sessions.
If you aren’t either, you can still get cheaper therapy by asking therapist offices for a potential discount, sliding scale payment plan, income based payment plan, etc. You can also try to book with a clinical intern or therapist in training.
Some universities may offer discounted therapy sessions if you see a student therapist.
Community centers or community health clinics sometimes offer free or reduced cost therapy.
If nothing else works, places of worship also often offer therapy, though make sure it is a place that is welcoming of LGBT+ people.