Police have issued a warning to anyone who finds a mysterious “Christmas gnome” in their garden.
While at first glance the cuddly festive decorations appear to have been randomly left, the officers in North Wales believe there may be a more sinister explanation.
If the gnome is not collected by the resident or removed from its location, it could be a sign that the property is empty and an “easy target” for burglars.
These police are absolutely deranged. Criminals aren’t necessarily smart but they would obviously see that it would be easier more effective to use something less expensive than a gnome. Faster than placing a gnome. More Covert than placing a gnome. More likely to be adjusted/removed when noticed than a gnome.
Like what criminal would order/make a bunch gnomes when they could go to a grocery store and pick up 1000 flyers to leave on people’s doorsteps. Worried about them blowing away? A pocketful of gravel.
Granted: a person on vacation might ask a neighbor to collect their mail, so burglars may miss some marks (false positive) but that is way better than robbing an occupied home because they left their gnome in place (false negative).
Also you don’t have to explain to anyone why you’re walking around the neighborhood with a bag full of fucking gnomes.
Also gnomes would tend to be nicked by:
And how many gnomes would be required for this? 1,000? More?
It seems more likely that someone has had a little art project to inject a bit of fun and mystery into the world and everyone has lost their shit.
It would be no problem in Scotland where they have freedom to gnome.
Seriously I’d just use something like those ads they used to hang on doorknobs. You can act legitimate, and nobody’s suspicious of someone putting one on every door.
You could even: trick some sucker into paying you to put flyers on people’s doors.