I could use some advice or support.
My husband and I both have ADHD. We really struggle to keep up with cleaning our home. My parents weren’t great cleaners when I was a kid either, so I get stressed sometimes because I don’t know how to handle various things around our home.
My husband told me a couple weeks ago that his mom was over at our house, and she told him we “don’t deserve to be homeowners.” This comment really cut me to the core. I have a pretty good relationship with my MIL overall which is what makes it hurt that much worse. But she is an insanely clean person, and she really can’t stand any kind of mess. I try to remind myself of this, that her standards are really high. I keep hearing that comment in my head and I feel like a piece of shit.
I really want to clean up my house but I have so much shame around it that it’s so hard to motivate myself to do it. It’s not like I live in a hoarder house or anything… But my house is messy enough that I am embarrassed to have people over most or the time.
Just needed to vent a little. Thanks for reading.
From my experience:
Gently let your husband know that if his mom says something negative that he should not pass it along to you. What his mom said did not hurt you until he told you. That’s how I taught my kid not to spread gossip.
As for your mother in law, if she comments that something is messy, hand her a broom. That’s how I got my certified-clean-freak mom to stop making comments. “Vacuum’s in the closet” was another one, but she was my mom, not my MIL, so it wasn’t as hard for me. Sooo…have your husband do it. :)