Several users have brought to the moderation team’s attention that there is increasing toxicity within our community. During discussion, the mod team has agreed that there is a noticeable increase in toxicity Lemmy-wide, so it might not be limited to our community only.
We would like to maintain the [email protected] community as respectful, inclusive of controversial perspectives, and encouraging of discussions. Furthermore, we aim to avoid silencing (deleting posts/comments) users unless they flagrantly violate our rules, while reserving user bans for repeat offenders (we all have bad days) and flagrant abuse.
Importantly, as autistic people and allies (NTs and other NDs alike), we go through enough difficulties as it is. We don’t need to be going through it here either. Let’s keep this our healthy space.
The Mod Team’s Perspective
We don’t want to silence users outside of clearly violating the rules, and we would prefer to avoid banning users for one or two minor offenses because we all have bad days, but we also don’t want to put up with toxicity either. Rather, we want a community that’s respectful, understanding, inclusive, and open. Lastly, as mods, we don’t see ourselves as controllers of the truth or authoritarians, whether benevolent or not, nor do we have the power to control topics of discussions or what is right within the autistic community as a whole. We are merely users trusted by the community with the power to remove posts, comments, and users per the established rules which are always up for discussion, and we use that power to build the community for all of us in [email protected]. We are in your service.
Some Suggestions
We argue that the best way to have civil discussions is to focus on the topic and use respectful language, especially when other users may have significant attachment to a topic. Additionally, it substantially helps if you can provide a source with valid evidence to support your argument. However, attacking a user rarely if ever helps get your point across.
We also understand that each of us can only control our own behaviors, and that it is likely you will be personally attacked on Lemmy. It’s part of being on social media. A wise woman once told me that the best way to win a game with a toxic person is to not play at all. If some bully throws the toxicity ball at you, put the ball down and walk away. If you would like to respond to demonstrate dignity, you can respectfully say that you are choosing to not participate. On the other hand, if you are being harassed or see any violation of our rules, then let the mods know through a report, and the mods will deal with it for you so you can continue enjoying the community knowing it has your back.
This brings up the next suggestion. The use of the up and down vote buttons would work best if they were used to vote on contribution to the thread, not whether you agree with a post/comment or not. If I argue for the use of [whatever] because I think it’s the best, but someone comes up with a good point that I don’t agree with, I can still up-vote it because I think it’s a good contribution to the topic and want to increase its visibility. In this case, my vote isn’t a sponsorship or surrender. It’s an appreciation for the discussion. At the same time, if someone starts with some toxic garbage, just downvote it and move on. Do not engage. At best, the user will drop it and maybe learn from it or leave. At worst, they get more toxic and eventually violate a rule, which will be reported to and addressed by the mods.
How Can You Help?
This post is the quick initial attempt at remedying the issue that has recently been brought to light. While we continue to brainstorm ideas, we would love to hear from you. What can the mods and community do to help maintain the healthy space we have all built?
PS - There are some topics sensitive to our community that the mod team has been asked to have a stance on. We are not ignoring them. While we haven’t discussed the topics yet, we will be in discussion over them to best decide how to address them. Once ready, we will make a post on them. In the meantime, we would like our community to address its daily functioning.
One thing I’ve started to notice in here is a ND person will make some joke based on typical Autistic dry humor (overly literal or pragmatic, etc.) or just putting a light-hearted spin on the situation, and some NT will swoop in to attack that person for “gatekeeping” or “mocking”, not realizing this was an ND attempting some inside humor directed at fellow NDs.
Feels bad finally finding a community where we can safely share our traumas and quirks and insights, and then “allies” feel the need to attack and berate us when we’re just Autistic and just socializing in our weird way.
Please be nice and don’t shame our odd humor. We’re struggling already as-is.
For example, a light-hearted ND joke here, immediately attacked by someone who doesn’t realize this community is exactly where that kind of humor is very common: https://communick.news/comment/316930
I’ve seen something similar to this happen. There was a meme posted in which kids were holding hands and running at the screen, there were syringes photoshopped above them with skulls and crossbones, and the caption said, “AUTISM SOFTWARE UPDATES!” To me, this was clearly satirical, poking fun at the ridiculous persistent conspiracy belief that vaccines cause autism and potentially all the ridiculous implications from that idea. However, it was reported by two users, and since it violated rule #8 (Do not link autism to vaccines), I removed the post. I can understand why users wouldn’t want that posted in this community given its purpose and rules.
Still, I thought of ways to still create a space in which we could have opportunity for humor like that, and best I came up with was to create another community specifically for memes related to autism, but moderating that sounds like a serious pain since there would be the potential for trolls to abuse the platform, a lot of ambiguous/vague posts that would take thorough consideration, and users getting upset if they disagreed with the mod action, so I decided it’s not something I’m willing to take on. If someone does make one, let me know so I can subscribe!