So as my post says I’m pretty new to the bdsm world. I took this test when my partner first introduced it to me. She is a brat, princess, sub. Being a hard dom i felt didn’t come natural and felt awkward with it. She told me im more of a soft dom which is nice because thats what she likes and feels more like me.

I would like more guidance on soft doms and rigging. The rigging i do know i would say isn’t safe to use her since it’s used to detain prisoners. We do communicate and there is after care just sometimes i feel a bit lost.

  • Neeka
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    31 year ago

    As for the rigging part. Don’t do anything stupid, but also, don’t overthink it too much.

    Have a think through what could go wrong with the techniques you have available, choose some where the risk is manageable to you. Maybe don’t go with the guaranteed shoulder dislocator or death-by-asphyxia-within-seconds techniques, but managed risk is the name of the game. If you feel uncomfortable with deciding for your partner (which you probably should); involve them, show them, ask them, and decide together on where you draw the line.

    There’s a whole set of fetishes and kinks around law enforcement, feel free to try it and see if it’s for you.

    Heck, most bondage comes from prisoner handling and transport, they’ve just been adapted for sexual play.

    My most important advice on any of this is to find community around it. It’s a huge safety net for both of you and keeps you from straying into abusive/destructive/dangerous territory which use many of the same tools as BDSM.

    With some friendly kinksters, both you and your partner can discuss questions, get second opinions, learn safety, as well as ideas, inspiration and technique tips. Find a munch, workshop, play club, discord, or whatever in your area. Consider going separately at times (as some questions won’t come up with your partner next to you), listen, engage, exchange ideas, and get a feel for what is fine, what is not, and how to navigate the grey area in between.