I’ve been identifying as ace for 10 years at this point, and I have always for the most part been completely fine with it. But recently I’ve been feeling very lonely. I can’t quite vibe with the “I don’t need nobody 😎” ace meme energy anymore as I mostly just feel sad about it. The worst part is that I’d rather “date” or whatever ace-date, qpr, I don’t know, another woman, but I don’t really have options because I live in a small town. It’s kinda been wearing me down :(
Also, I got a little lesbian flag colour sticker recently and I feel like an impostor. Though I am bambi lesbian I think? But still…
I’m afraid I’m not ace, but I have both immediate family who are ace and very good friends who are also.
All of these things are a spectrum, and people can change on those spectra over time. That neither invalidates one’s identity in the past nor does it invalidate one’s identity in the present or the future.
Think of the classic bi-cycle. Sometimes I’m more into one side of one of the gender and sexuality spectra, other times I’m more into another, sometimes I’m in the middle. It’s like someone drunk and blindfolded wandering along a line, entirely unpredictable.
All this to say, if that’s what you’re feeling, don’t worry about it conflicting with any label you identify with, that is just the weird grey areas of life. For instance my family member identifies as ace, and has a partner who also identifies as ace. They still enjoy each others’ company very much and it doesn’t make them less ace to do so. Hell other very ace friends of mine also have sex, that still doesn’t make them not ace, they just have different drivers for it relative to other friends who identify as allo.
Final point, you are never an imposter in your own identity 💚 You have as much right as any to hold any identity you so choose.