Let me tell you how “dumb” I am so you can gloat over it some more, you bright shining ray of sunshine. I’m so dumb that I have 2 college degrees, a great career doing high-tech stuff for lots of money, and I own my own house and land where I have an offgrid solar panel system and a sweet garden.

I’m so dumb that my life is great and you made me so sad about it.