I’ve had severe demand avoidance my whole life. If people interrupt me or keep trying to get my attention without considerable breaks, I get quite overwhelmed. I mean that I can easily go into a complete meltdown if someone continues to interrupt me after I’ve asked them to please stop, even if their interruption is seemingly helpful and selfless.
I seriously broke up with a girl that loved the hell out of me because she just couldn’t stop interrupting me when I was engaged in something. I completely blocked another friend I had for ~17 years after going on an international trip with him because after asking him repeatedly to please stop blurting out every single idea he has, to save them until I seem like I want to hear it. Nope, he just couldn’t do that. It is just completely unbearable for me, and after leaving the trip on my own earlier than planned, I blocked all opportunities for him to contact me. I would be happy to never hear from or of him ever again. That’s how much I cannot tolerate demands.
Aside from that, the best part of my day is when I go to bed to lie down for the night. It is my safe place where I know no one will interrupt me because everyone is asleep. This happens even if I live alone.
Unfortunately, the way this plays out is that I end up isolating myself and have pretty bad sleep issues since I basically stay in bed awake for hours at night. It’s like my body wakes up once I hit the bed, which is terrible for sleep hygiene. Last night, I went to best at midnight and didn’t fall asleep until 5am, so I’m exhausted-tired today.
I’m working with a therapist to develop a social circle that is healthier for me, so that’s on the horizon…hopefully. When I review my life, my favorite relationships are ones where I just co-exist with someone in the same space without much direct verbal interaction. I enjoy touch and sharing, but not if they talk a lot. And if they do talk a lot, I prefer if they keep the talking consolidated rather than spreading it out throughout the day. I can tolerate 2 hour conversations wayyy better than 6 hours of talking for 5 mins repeatedly.
Any other suggestions on how to manage this?
Since you’re already getting therapy, I have just one idea that’s far out but might be cool:
Learn sign language. Deaf people don’t speak, and while they can interrupt and demand attention similar to the way hearing people do, it seems like your main problem is sensitivity to sound.
Dude. I’m doing this. That is such a fucking brilliant idea.
No! this is a terrible idea. OP (and you) should learn ASL for the sake of learning ASL, not out of some misguided idea that Deaf people will trigger Demand Avoidance less often.
I am learning ASL for when I have trouble using my voice to communicate. I’d recommend learning ASL with a friend or finding a small class to learn it with. Putting yourself into some uncomfortable situations could be a good place to practice coping skills for when you begin to feel discomfort. The structure of having a class at set times and knowing what to expect should help, too, I think.
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Are you seriously saying don’t learn to communicate with deaf people? Maybe what OP really needs is to learn to ignore jackasses who think he or she needs fixing.
Stopping there before I go ahead and tell you to get fucked.
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Wow. Looks like I hit a nerve.
But ok. As an autistic person: Get fucked, you cunt.
If you’re honestly a qualified and licensed mental health professional, how is it that you’re offering medical advice anonymously to a person you’ve never met and know nothing about? If you’re so good at your job, why do you need fans? Why is your husband apparently the only one?
You aren’t simply being direct. Your behavior is bullying, and everyone can see that.
I, for one, call bullshit. You’re no mental health professional. More likely a TikTok influencer. Or clergy who think you’re qualified to diagnose and treat health because you’ve read part of the ancient anthology about the Magic Sky Fairy.
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Ugh, stop commenting here, you’ve already shown you have no idea how to help autistic people and you’re running your mouth about shit you don’t understand.
Don’t come at me with this bullshit about you working in disability care, either. The world is full of shit disability workers; it’s not the flex you think it is.
You’re not even part of this community, you just stumbled across it. Kindly fuck off.