I’ll be going overseas soon to visit and stay with my cousins for a few weeks. I’m fairly close to them and we get along well, so it’s not a problem interacting with them, as a generally shy and introverted person. However, I’ve absolutely no idea how to interact with their kids (3 and 7 years old). I’ve never been good with kids. I can’t make funny faces, speak “goo goo ga ga” nor play with them or entertain them in any fashion. I mean, I could try, but it’s just not in my nature, and it’ll come across as really fake and forced.

Mind you, I don’t hate kids, I just never interacted with them in any sort of extended fashion. I keep my distance from them and don’t want nothing to do with kids in general. I don’t find kids cute or funny or cuddly or anything of that sort, on the contrary, I find kids annoying and avoid them. I don’t care about them to the point that I won’t even ring my niblings and wish them a happy birthday, if I wasn’t forced to by my family (and I usually try and weasel out of it by coming up with some excuse).

In saying all that, the reason why I’m asking this question is because I don’t want them to grow up hating me or thinking of me like I’m that “weird uncle”, cause maybe in the future, when I become old, I may have to rely upon them for whatever reasons. Like if I look at myself now, I have a good relationship with my elderly aunts and uncles, and they rely upon me for various things - mostly technical help, but even just in general if I’m ever visiting them I help them out wherever I can. Plus I enjoy conversing with them and learning of their various life experiences. I would like to have a similar amicable relationship with my niblings when I grow old, but I can’t help think that I’m pushing them away due to my shy and introverted nature.

And as a reference, I have another cousin who’s the exact opposite of me: typical extrovert alpha male type. He treats his niblings as if they were his own kids, like he does the airplane with them, takes them out for treats or other fun outdoor activities etc etc, and actually has conversations with them. I mean, that’s all pretty cool I guess, but that’s just not me. I do not intend to be like that.

I guess what I’m after is, what’s the absolute minimal sort of interaction I can have with them, which won’t feel too forced or fake or in-your-face (like definitely no “goo goo ga ga” stuff please), whilst still keeping up appearances and making me come across as a “he’s a good uncle I guess, but just a bit quiet and shy” type of person? I’ve tried having “grown up” style small talk with them (like how’s your day going, or stuff about the weather) and obviously that didn’t work out too well. So I’d also appreciate stuff that I can talk to them about, like actual dialogues if possible, which won’t seem fake or forced coming out of me, a shy and introverted person.

  • @[email protected]OP
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    01 year ago

    I know, I don’t know the equivalent term for small kids, you know the high-pitched sing-songy exaggerated tone that people use when they talk to kids (or pets)? I’m saying I can’t do that sort of stuff.

    • @BreadstickNinja
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      121 year ago

      That’s also for newborns. Speak to the kids normally.

      You can ask the seven-year-old:

      • How they like school
      • If they learned anything interesting lately
      • If they have a favorite book
      • If they have a favorite meal
      • If they like making or listening to music
      • If they like drawing or making art

      Kids are people with emerging preferences. Ask simple questions about who they are and what interests them. Avoid literary criticism or discussion of geopolitics.

    • @[email protected]
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      41 year ago

      You don’t have to. Kids should get used to people using their normal voices, at least some of the time.

    • Sirence
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      31 year ago

      Children are just smaller people, just talk normally about them. You need to adjust the content of what you are saying to be age appropriate but you definitely do not need to change your voice or manner of speaking.
      Simply ask them about their interests and then act interested in what they are telling you (but in your normal voice). Do not brush them off or belittle them or their interests in any way and you’ll have a pretty good position.