• @alvvayson
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    181 year ago

    I read the book back when it was just one book and not a whole franchise.

    It was a good book. The basic premise was: early in relationships, love is abundant and you’re meeting each others needs on every level. Later on, you will grow into routines and will need to be more thoughtful to keep the spark alive. That starts with understanding what is important for your partner. Maybe you don’t care for receiving gifts, but your partner does, so give them gifts. You might appreciate one-on-one time more, so ask your partner for that. And if you both happen to love physical touch, then make sure to invest in that.

    Defining the five love languages was obviously a best effort attempt to make it understandable and memorable.

    It wasn’t dogmatic. The premise was that everyone speaks all five love languages, but people also tend to have one or two that are more important for them.

    I am no longer a Christian, but I still agree with these basic premises. Although I now prefer more general terms like “being on the same frequency” or “knowing how the other person ticks”.

    Too many dumb people now apply the five love languages way to simplistically. Seems they are also milking it for all they can.

    • @lmaydev
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      51 year ago

      Yeah my therapist recommended it as a good way to get a general read on what’s more important to you/your partner.

      Definitely not to be taken as strict definitions.

      Most people like all of them but some are more important than others.