I think the whole true love thing is bullshit and I am in a very happy longterm relationship. But it’s just love. Love is the feeling that it is. There is no true version of it. All love is the same. But relationships are not built on love alone. The true love concept makes it come across to me that way though. That if things don’t work out your love just wasn’t true enough. You just have to love harder and truer next time. It’s even worse when the concept gets extended to there only being one true love per lifetime or whatever.
It’s not that. Imo all love is created equal. It’s the other factors that make things work or not work. Compatibility with the partner, how hard you try, how much you try, how mature you are. Honesty, trust. But also external factors such as how easy or hard life is at that time for you. Even the greatest relationships can fall apart in the shittiest of times. Doesn’t make the love less true.
conversely, I’d argue that subjective feelings are always true - but they may disagree. I can be angry at you for no good reason, doesn’t mean I’m not angry, it just means I shouldn’t be in your opinion, but I should be in mine. All those things can be true simultaneously.
To add to that from my experience I can even be angry for no good reason and at the same time logically think I shouldn’t be. Even that doesn’t make the feelings untrue. It just makes me know they might not be justified or reasonable. And feelings can be all that.
I think it’s more the idea that people who chase “the one,” tend to be pretty toxic. It’s much important to focus on finding a partner who treats you well then thinking there’s some sort of magic to the whole thing
No but a lot of young people obsessed with finding “the one,” or “true love” put the entire concept on a pedestal. Which is more the point I think OP is making
You’re having to read between the lines a hell of a lot to assume that. I’m just working with what’s there. To me, true love is just love. Simple as that.
“WAA STOP BEING HAPPY I DON’T LIKE IT”
- you
I think the whole true love thing is bullshit and I am in a very happy longterm relationship. But it’s just love. Love is the feeling that it is. There is no true version of it. All love is the same. But relationships are not built on love alone. The true love concept makes it come across to me that way though. That if things don’t work out your love just wasn’t true enough. You just have to love harder and truer next time. It’s even worse when the concept gets extended to there only being one true love per lifetime or whatever.
It’s not that. Imo all love is created equal. It’s the other factors that make things work or not work. Compatibility with the partner, how hard you try, how much you try, how mature you are. Honesty, trust. But also external factors such as how easy or hard life is at that time for you. Even the greatest relationships can fall apart in the shittiest of times. Doesn’t make the love less true.
I’m not ranting. You’re ranting.
conversely, I’d argue that subjective feelings are always true - but they may disagree. I can be angry at you for no good reason, doesn’t mean I’m not angry, it just means I shouldn’t be in your opinion, but I should be in mine. All those things can be true simultaneously.
To add to that from my experience I can even be angry for no good reason and at the same time logically think I shouldn’t be. Even that doesn’t make the feelings untrue. It just makes me know they might not be justified or reasonable. And feelings can be all that.
Nah I’m not about that spiritual “soulmate” nonsense. ‘True love’ just means love. Not infatuation, lust, or being manipulated.
I think it’s more the idea that people who chase “the one,” tend to be pretty toxic. It’s much important to focus on finding a partner who treats you well then thinking there’s some sort of magic to the whole thing
Mate I never said anything about magic.
No but a lot of young people obsessed with finding “the one,” or “true love” put the entire concept on a pedestal. Which is more the point I think OP is making
You’re having to read between the lines a hell of a lot to assume that. I’m just working with what’s there. To me, true love is just love. Simple as that.
Why does someone who is less fortunate than me not want his nose rubbed in it? That’s so rude!
Who’s rubbing noses?
Oh please, it’s a tragic part of the human condition some people will just never meet ‘the one’.
It’s purely practical, your chances of ever randomly finding someone you are giddy about decades after meeting them is slim to nil.
Now for the real mic drop, say you do find that person, how do you know they feel the same way about you?
Because we’ve been together 4 years.
Also, I never said anything about “the one”. I don’t believe that soulmate shit. I just believe two people can connect and love each other.
Is that so weird?
This isn’t about your relationship. I’m happy for you, seriously.
It’s a commentary that ‘true love’ doesn’t exist, which it doesn’t for the vast majority.
Most people settle.
Also, people get divorced after 30 years of marriage, length of relationship has no bearing on whether it’s ‘true love’.
So you just don’t believe in love?
I’m not sure what love even is.