edit: I am a man and the only man in this scenario
This happened some time ago. I was driving and stopped on a gas station. probably for coffee and had to go pee. I saw a long queue of around fifteen to twenty exclusively 30-something girls, definitely bit older than me. They probably were a sports team, since there was a hired couch bus waiting outside and they were mostly wearing sweats. There were separate stalls for men and women (one each), so I went for the men’s room. It turned out locked, so I stood just outside it. One of the girls in the queue said that the back of the queue is “back there”. I replied “sure, but I’m going to the men’s room”, understandably assuming they were queueing for the ladies room. To which she said “yeah but there’s one queue for both”. I am familiar with the concept of shared queues, but mostly from supermarkets or post office, where you would queue for several checkouts and just go to the first one that is free. Never encountered shared queues for gender-separated toilets, so I said “but the toilets are separate, I’m going to the men’s room and you can queue for the ladies room” and simply went in without any more protest from them when the men’s room emptied (and it was another girl in there).
Were I the asshole?
To me this situation is analogous to priority seats in public transport. You can use them freely as long there’s no pregnant women, elderly, or disabled around, then you have to give up the seat to them.
Me peeing before them delayed their departure by one minute. If I had to queue with all of them then my own departure would be delayed by 20 minutes
Edit: don’t get me wrong, one should give up their seat to pregnant, disabled or elderly regardless of it being marked priority or not, but they do still get marked that way
My understanding of proper procedure is that men can deal with the intrusion because they are less likely to have complications from holding it, can find a place to pee anywhere, and that an athletic team may have been on the road for hours before having a chance to use any bathroom. A female bus load will take over both bathrooms and a male bus load will have men scattered everywhere finding a safe place to pee in public or a different bathroom.
again, there was one of me
Defo a cultural difference then, because where I am from that would definitely be a yta moment and someone might even ask if you were about to pee yourself.
would you ask a pregnant lady whether she is about to give birth if she wanted to cut the line at a priority queue? because I wouldn’t. in fact, I would just let her in on sight and I would even feel ASHAMED if she had to ask.
also, had the roles inverted and it was I who wanted to go to ladies room so as to not queue to the men’s room, would you find that okay then? because if I were desperate then perhaps I could consider that, but definitely make sure I wouldn’t be inconveniencing any woman beforehand.
I’d offer to call an ambulance because a dirty ass men’s room isn’t a proper place to give birth
by priority queue I meant queuing for checkout in a supermarket but otherwise fair point
I am not going to be convinced to change my answer, I am sorry. In rural regions of the United States you would be considered very rude. Good news is, according to the reaction to my answer, elsewhere in the world you would not be considered rude.
here’s a though experiment. what if suddenly a bus load of men pulled over and a similar number of man to the women already queueing wanted to use the men’s room simultaneously: should they queue separately for the men’s room or all queue after the women? I’m honestly interested in your take on that
The men would venture forth to find other places to pee. The expectation in the culture is that men tolerate the intrusion and hold it or find new and exciting unmarked places to pee.
this wasn’t a rural area, no trees or exciting unmarked places to pee which wouldn’t raise a risk of public urination fine. anyway, assume they all need to poop. what then?
oh perhaps I should have mentioned originally that this wasn’t in a rural area at all, so it’s not like I could go on a tree
This person doesn’t represent all regions of the rural United States.
Don’t know where you are from but I would say it’s a very misandrist place. Men can also have issues from holding in bathroom needs.