• @MuhammadJesusGaySex
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    21 year ago

    Vegan food gives me the squirts. Which sucks because I love those morning star black bean burgers, but if I eat one I’ll get the explosive poopies. Likewise, if I eat a salad I will definitely have violent mud butt just a few hours later. If I eat too much fiber for dinner I wake up around 1am with stomach cramps and spend the rest of the night on the throne.

    I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

    • @[email protected]
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      fedilink
      21 year ago

      Yeah you definitely need to see a gastroenterologist. Eating just the protein a bean burger gives shouldn’t give you the shits.

      • @MuhammadJesusGaySex
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        21 year ago

        Truthfully, I was a heroin addict for over a decade, and then went through methadone for a few years. Now, I’m completely sober. I even got off the methadone. I only bring this up because opiates make you incredibly constipated, and now that I am no longer on opiates at all. I poop like probably 8 times a day every day. But, when I eat anything with a lot of fiber it gets serious. So, I’m afraid that the opiates messed up my digestive system, and because I have no insurance and live in the US. I can’t go to a doctor.

        I know that it probably sounds like I’m joking or being a troll. I swear I’m being serious. I just don’t know how to comfortably talk about my poop habits with strangers without trying to make it at least mildly humorous.

        • @[email protected]
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          fedilink
          21 year ago

          As someone with digestive problems, feel free to talk about it! I know first hand now bad this shit sucks (pun intended).

          Have you tried Omeprazole? You can buy it OTC where I am.

          • @MuhammadJesusGaySex
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            11 year ago

            Yeah I take that. It helps. I’ve thought about taking loratadine like as a daily preventative medication, but as it is an opiate itself I’ve wanted to stay away from it. Even if it technically can’t get you high. I say technically because I think if you take very very large quantities it can get you high.

            I go to the local charity hospital. They thought maybe I had ulcers or something. That has turned out to probably not be correct. But, whatever it is it absolutely fucking sucks.