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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Upset-Guava2589 on 2023-06-25 14:48:40+00:00.

I (58M) and my wife (59F) have only one daughter (30F). We always wished we could have had more kids, but due to medical complications that I won’t go into, we only had our girl. Because of that we’ve always dreamed of being grandparents, so we made long-term investments that paid off, and now we have almost $350K saved up to help raise our future grandkids and cover their college expenses.

I want to make it clear that we never pressured our daughter to have children in any way. She simply knows that the money is there and what it’s intended for. I’ll explain why this is relevant later on.

The thing is, our daughter recently made the decision not to have kids. She told us a few months ago and even had a tubal ligation soon after. We were both a bit shocked and asked if she was sure, but we also reassured her that we’ll always be there for her.

I won’t lie, I’m really disappointed, but not in our daughter. It’s her life, and it’s not our place to impose anything on her. My disappointment stems from the fact that I won’t have grandkids. However, if this is what makes her happy, I have no right to say anything about it.

Last week, we had a lunch at our house with our daughter, and she brought up the topic of the money we had saved for our future grandkids. We simply told her that we will make use of it differently now. For example, I’ll be able to work fewer hours before retirement, and we plan to use the money for travel.

At that moment, our daughter’s expression changed, and she fell silent. When my wife asked if she was okay, she suddenly exploded, accusing us of punishing her for not having kids and taking away the money that she would have used if she had children. The situation became really tense, and she stormed out after the argument.

Now she’s not speaking to us and has posted about it on social media. We’ve also received some unpleasant messages from our daughter’s friends, expressing their disapproval of our actions.

Let me be clear, we haven’t disowned her. She will still receive whatever money or properties we have when we pass away. However, we saved that money specifically to support our future grandkids, and now that we know we won’t have any, we decided to use it for our own purposes. Is that wrong? AITA?