I’ve rejected these ideals my whole life. I was bullied as a kid but once I got out of school I found my people and never looked back. Never had a problem with women, the ones I dated found my emotional openness attractive. I’m successful in my professional life, tech lead at a financial software company.

I understand that different places have different degrees of pressures for this kind of thing, but what you’re saying is a lie. You’ve been programmed by the system to believe it and it is probably making you miserable. And if you have kids, it’ll make them miserable too. It doesn’t have to be that way. I feel bad for you.