I’ll give you the details up to the current news, but this shit has been changing pretty rapidly, so I can’t promise this will be accurate by dawn. Shit’s wild. Anyway…

So, Sam Altman (The CEO of Open AI) gets fired by the board out of nowhere. Dude literally got shit-canned over a zoom call. That’s like impeaching the President via carrier pigeon. They also try to fire his buddy and Open AI co-founder, Greg Brockman, but Brockman pulled the Uno Reverso and said, “You can’t fire me! I quit!” After that, the board gives a weak-ass press release that leaves more questions than it answers.

Next, the employees of Open AI start to ask questions, like, “What did Sam do?” And the board can’t answer. They only say, “We didn’t trust him. Don’t ask us for examples.” And that’s that.

Sam gets a call from Microsoft, and they are like, “Hey, wanna do what you were doing, but with more big dick energy?” And Sam was like, “Hold on, I’m getting another call.” The other call was from the board of Open AI in full panic mode because 75% of their employees threatened to walk if they didn’t reinstate Sam. Sam says he needs to take the call on the other line, and switches back to the Microsoft call. “Big dick energy, you say? I’ll do it!” And Sam takes the job at Microsoft, and brings a whole bunch of people with him.

Now the board is fucked. Sam says, “Sure, I’ll come back, but if I do, all you fuckers gotta go. I’ve got big dick energy now, and I intend to use it.” And so, the board steps down, and Sam comes back.

I think that’s about it. It’s fucking wild.

Edit: Also, immediately after the termination, there was speculation that it had sometime to do with Altman’s sister’s claims of incest and rape against her. The claims are unfounded, and all of the people crying for his head are oddly silent now that we all know it wasn’t because there was some big sex abuse scandal coming down the pipe.