Newliyish married, but the new reality is partner finished law school so going back to the DINK lifestyle. We live in NYC and are lucky to be in a rent regulated apartment. On one hand we realize it’s cheaper to stay there forever, but it’s not the most well maintained building the the amenities aren’t the best… Anyways, we want to aggressively start saving for a downpayment, but have some question.

And before folks say leave NYC, no, that is not the plan and not what we want. We like the lifestyle, car less, near a park, etc. So really want to understand what the planning is for that.

1. Based on all the “how much house can you afford” calculators we can afford like 3-4X monthly housing payments than we currently have. That seems insane, but how should we be thinking about the fixed cost of a mortgage over time that is also equity as opposed to rent? When buying a house, is it kind of expected that it is more “painful” earlier in the lifecycle of a mortage, but naturally gets easier as inflation kicks in and salaries go up?

2. I’ve been maxing out stock purchasing plans and what not to save while partner was in laws school, but kind of saving less because I was the single income currently have about 1/3rd of downpayment in securities (maybe 50% if my employers stock ever bounces back to 2021 valuations). I’m thinking for the next 2 years we should try to devote what we anticipate our mortgage (and other fees like taxes, co-op, etc). would be to buy. That would allow us to save and see how that change impacts quality of life and other factors. Is that a good strategy? This would be in addition to normal saving practices. Our parents would probably assist too with the downpayment, but haven’t broached that until we are closer to doing this for real.

3. When it comes to saving for a down payment, is it better for psychological and newly married folks to use that as a way to get used to joint finances in a dual income (nearly equal salaried) partnership? If so, what type of account should we open. High yield savings? Short term CD’s?

4. For NYC specifically, what are the differences to consider between buying buildings, co ops, or condos when it comes to finances? 2/3 family homes in some ways look good on paper, but how do you factor in being a landlord and costs and risks for doing that? Co ops and Condos seems more attractive on paper for being much more simple in terms of ownership and responsibility of the entire property.

Any other advice is welcome. Thanks!