There really aren’t many autistic people who would argue, “But I feel just like everyone else. I’m normal!”

oh.my.god!! lmaooo 🤣 Also, relevant meme.

Then, in August of 2017, shortly after the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, I found myself in a heated disagreement with someone of similar political views but who was definitely not autistic. I felt like they were parroting party politics without seeing how they were contributing to racism. They thought that I was “causing division” by not following party lines.

This reminds me of how the author of A Field Guide to Earthlings argues that allistics create knowledge through social construction. Basically, truth is whatever everyone agrees is truth.

[Dis]ability

Yessss! Abilty

This is being published as a theory and not as a fact. Autistic people are invited to share their thoughts and engage with this theory, even if to disprove it.

I feel that statement. After being attacked for having a different perspective on matters my entire life, sharing these viewpoints comes with the fear of being attacked as a malicious actor or moral failings rather than being sincere about a possible perspective that is up for respectable discussion. Thus, we have to preface it with a disclaimer to have a voice while helping to avoid “retaliation” for whatever value or norm we unknowingly violated.

It’s also worth noting that many, many autistic people just answered, “I’m who I am,” “I’m me,” or “I don’t know who I am.”

I have theories about why many autistic people struggle to put words to who they are. Some of that could be that they do not experience identity the same way that the world describes identity, and so they struggle to understand themselves within the neurotypical context. Others may have been shamed and over-therapized and gaslighted to the extent that they have never had permission to explore their passions and truly meet their authentic selves.

😢

Many autistics who loved their identity communities– professional, religious, racial, LGBTQ+, etc.–were shunned from them for not being a “team player” or for “causing division.”

Ugh, the story of my life! So, then the issue becomes trying to learn what sincere comments I can or cannot make . What happens, depending on the situation, is that I will either restrain myself too much and avoid making helpful contributions for fear of upsetting someone, or lose a lot of caution and really upset people to the point that they see and treat me as someone that needs punishment.

Autistic people may air their grievances with problems within an identity to which they belong, setting the stage for the other person to confirm if they share the same values. For example, a Christian autistic may express their discontent at the church’s focus on prosperity and financial “blessings” as being a reflection of greed or of contributing to morality being associated with financial privilege.

This person gets it!! We’re pointing out contradictions and establishing that we are not okay with that hypocrisy.

They monitor and adjust their own behavior– publicly– and often ask others to hold them accountable.

Yes!! Please, just tell me directly what I did that upset you. I have a lot of trouble with passive aggressive behaviors. I will either think you’re in a bad mood and just help you feel better, or I will think you’re a manipulative jerk. Neither of these will help me figure out and reduce what upset you.

What a great article. I found it validating, educational, and helpful with my own self-awareness. Thanks for sharing!