I just want to vent a bit - I started seeing someone a few weeks ago. Old fling that I ran into through some friends that got rekindled, and I was excited that it seemed like more than just casual hookups this time. But there were some yellow flags I ignored that turned out to be red flags, and now I’m feeling frustrated and hurt.

Dude for real dropped the line that men are more “capable” and “logical” on me. That gender studies are “indoctrination.” I told him we should probably stop seeing each other if that’s really what he thinks. It wouldn’t be logical for me to keep seeing someone that thinks lesser of me, now, would it?

I’m grateful to have some guy friends that I turned to after I left, cuz I wanted to go into “fuck all men” mode, but I know it’s not true or helpful. Just like there are women out there that have internalized misogyny, there’s feminist men, enbies, etc. We’re all just people and we’re not monoliths beholden to differences in biology. This is just sexist, manosphere bullshit in particular

Anyway. I’m still feeling angry and wanted to put it out there for some support and solidarity. Anyone have a recent win they’d like to share or something?

ETA: Thank you so much for the conversation y’all! I’ve been trying to keep up but I gotta get some sleep. I’ll check in later but hope everyone has a good day. Keep up the empowerment! 💜

  • @TeaHandsEnglish
    9•1 year ago

    It’s interesting, I’m sure you’re right that this does work on some people and I have no evidence to suggest you’re lying about having personally seen it a lot. But as with other commenters, this just isn’t my experience at all. Thinking about my straight female friends, I can’t recall anyone going for a guy who even remotely resembles this. And thinking about my straight male friends, obviously none of them are like this at all otherwise they wouldn’t be my friends.

    For what it’s worth, I grew up super working class poor (dad worked down a coal mine) and a lot of my oldest friends are still in similar situations. Nowadays I also know a lot of quite well off middle class folks. But neither group would put up with this kind of behaviour from partners / friends / themselves. Whatever the difference is with your friend group, I don’t think it’s that.