Edit

After reading all the responses below and receiving much helpful advice, I reflected on my hesitance of getting medical help. I realized I didn’t want to feel like I “gave up”. I come from a poor family of immigrants and my parents sacrificed a lot for me to have an opportunity, so when I’m discussing these mental problems I face with loved ones, there’s always a suggestive undertone of being unappreciative(remember your parents slaved away doing manual labor jobs so you could complain about your comfy, well paid office job)

I now realize my own happiness/fulfillment is my responsibility, public opinion be damned. Thank you all. I will seek help ASAP

Double edit

I’m on strattera(atomoxetine) now. It’s helped me focus my thoughts a lot more.

Original:

Not sure if this is typical or not but it perplexes me to no end. I’ve always struggled with remembering things, decision paralysis, bad sleeping patterns, interpersonal relationships(appearing distant), mood swings of joy and apathy(high peaks and low valleys), addictive personality traits(coffee/nicotine/alcohol). But on a good day I can do the work of a whole team. I’ve often spearheaded entire projects solo from concept to design to implementation. Despite a very rough start in my early adult life and after getting tired from most jobs for petty things like disagreements or tardiness, I’ve been solid for about 7 years. I’ve learned to communicate effectively without getting emotional, how to manage relationships, how to work around the difficulties of my ADHD, I’ve turned my skills into a well paying career and can politic with the best of them. My son was diagnosed and I never was because Hispanics don’t believe in ADHD(“everyone has those problems, you just need to manage xyz better”)

I’ve tried to explain my patterns to loved ones in hopes of feeling understood but even those closest to me say it’s all mental. I feel like no one understands. I’ve been called brilliant/highly intelligent many times but have been told I need to apply myself. I feel like it’s both a strength and a weakness.

Anyways, I have health coverage now and am scared of prescription medicines. Not sure if I should just keep braving on towards my future without getting some sense of closure. I believe my father is also on the spectrum because he has always embodied all the symptoms (irregular sleep, obsession with pet projects, irregular moods, difficulty managing relationships/being empathetic/sympathetic, etc).

I hate being told that I’m not trying hard enough when it feels like I need to keep double the pace of everyone else just to be on par. Should I start allowing myself to be disagreeable? Maybe call bs what it is and not dance around it so much? Should I seek treatment? Should I keep quiet and bite down on the rag?

Sorry for the rant. No one seems to understand.

  • @[email protected]English
    3•1 year ago

    Should I start allowing myself to be disagreeable?

    Only if you’re defending a system that works well for you.

    Should I seek treatment?

    Yes

    Maybe call bs what it is and not dance around it so much?

    Challenge them

    • E.g. “that word doesn’t mean what you think it means”
    • Look up a list of famous people/leaders who have ADHD, then ask them “so would you say X person has ADHD?” talk about that accomplished persons’ struggles
    • Ask them about the symptoms, like if hyperfocus is a symptoms, or if someone can have ADHD while also having low energy

    Once you make your point that that they actually have no idea what the clinical meaning is, immediately follow it up with “you wouldn’t tell someone in a wheel chair ‘just come upstairs, its easy, you’re just not trying hard enough’, so why do you do it for people with mental disabilities?”

    Should I keep quiet and bite down on the rag?

    Actually sometimes, unfortunately, yes. There’s going to be a lot of people that don’t understand or appreciate it, and trying to explain it to everyone can just make things harder. Family/friends, even some teachers are worth it, but at a first time interview with an employer it’s just not going to work. There will be lots of cases where you have to double down on your strengths to find a way that works. And yeah it sucks, you will often have to do twice or even 10x as much work for the same passing grade. The good news is lots of times doing 2x the work has other benefits, so not all is lost.