Consider the first two lines. Although they are one sentence they are split into two thoughts.
Also consider the tension created by the author putting a line break after “undress”, creating a (gentle) joke/misdirection that’s revealed in the next line.
You could apply this reduction to any artform. Your favorite song is “randomly” in 4/4, or “randomly” in D minor, or is “randomly” about someone called Suzanne, or “randomly” features a high note in the middle of the chorus.
Finally, consider a punnet square of
GOOD ART | BAD ART
I LIKE IT
I DONT LIKE IT
it’s pretty easy to fill in if I was to show you pieces of art
it’s really hard to fill in if you have to define each of the four items before you fill it in, and ask me to fill it in on your behalf with these instructions.
So: what constitutes a good poem, and why doesn’t this meet that criteria? What consists a poem you like and why doesn’t this meet your criteria?
I ask because, you accuse it of “looking random” as a bad thing - should all good poems not “look random”? Might I ask you to consider that the look of a poem might not be it’s only metric of worthiness - even if it’s in the “bad art” and “I don’t like it” section of the diagram above?
That was some great explanation, thank you! That really helps me see the poem differently. I don’t think everything is random about songs, but songs are more obvious for me to understand why they are structured the way they are, where are poetry like this is a bit baffling, probably because I’m not a native speaker.
there’s more history feeding these kind of decisions as well. When you’re writing - as Shakespeare did - in blank verse, you have to end the line after 5 iambic feet (ten syllables). Shakespeare is considered the king of this because of how he does it.
“Friends. Romans. Countrymen. Lend me your ears.”
10 syllables but the speaker is trying to attract the attention of a large crowd. He’s counting. Friends (1). Romans (2). Countrymen (3). Lend me your ears (4).
In Othello, Iago says
For when my outward action doth demonstrate
The native act and figure of my heart
In complement extern, 'tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at. I am not what I am.
Note how the line breaks are sense breaks too. So Shakespeare is skillfully obeying the meter while also lining up the sense of the underlying message.
There’s even the same tension/release device of the undressing from the above poem in the last two lines (when I wear my heart on my sleeve… … …it gets eaten by birds!)
When you don’t have a strict meter (in the same way that modern music nowadays doesn’t obey the Sonata form, or the symphony form) you can be more inventive with how you’re using form and format to create your work.
Consider the first two lines. Although they are one sentence they are split into two thoughts.
Also consider the tension created by the author putting a line break after “undress”, creating a (gentle) joke/misdirection that’s revealed in the next line.
You could apply this reduction to any artform. Your favorite song is “randomly” in 4/4, or “randomly” in D minor, or is “randomly” about someone called Suzanne, or “randomly” features a high note in the middle of the chorus.
Finally, consider a punnet square of
it’s pretty easy to fill in if I was to show you pieces of art
it’s really hard to fill in if you have to define each of the four items before you fill it in, and ask me to fill it in on your behalf with these instructions.
So: what constitutes a good poem, and why doesn’t this meet that criteria? What consists a poem you like and why doesn’t this meet your criteria?
I ask because, you accuse it of “looking random” as a bad thing - should all good poems not “look random”? Might I ask you to consider that the look of a poem might not be it’s only metric of worthiness - even if it’s in the “bad art” and “I don’t like it” section of the diagram above?
That was some great explanation, thank you! That really helps me see the poem differently. I don’t think everything is random about songs, but songs are more obvious for me to understand why they are structured the way they are, where are poetry like this is a bit baffling, probably because I’m not a native speaker.
there’s more history feeding these kind of decisions as well. When you’re writing - as Shakespeare did - in blank verse, you have to end the line after 5 iambic feet (ten syllables). Shakespeare is considered the king of this because of how he does it.
“Friends. Romans. Countrymen. Lend me your ears.”
10 syllables but the speaker is trying to attract the attention of a large crowd. He’s counting. Friends (1). Romans (2). Countrymen (3). Lend me your ears (4).
In Othello, Iago says
Note how the line breaks are sense breaks too. So Shakespeare is skillfully obeying the meter while also lining up the sense of the underlying message.
There’s even the same tension/release device of the undressing from the above poem in the last two lines (when I wear my heart on my sleeve… … …it gets eaten by birds!)
When you don’t have a strict meter (in the same way that modern music nowadays doesn’t obey the Sonata form, or the symphony form) you can be more inventive with how you’re using form and format to create your work.