Have we really become so unempathetic as a society that the act of putting yourself in others’ shoes is unbelievable to the point that people assume you must be part of the group you’re defending? So I often see people being unfairly discriminatory and mean to certain types, attributes or qualities of people, which I know some would be offended and hurt by. But whenever I stick up for them, I get comments like this: “Tell me you’re x without telling me you’re x”. “F*** off, x”. A good example is gay people or trans people. I get heavily criticised for defending them and people immediately assume that I’m gay or trans just because I’m expressing that I empathise with how they’re treated in society and think people should be kinder toward them. There are lots of other examples but I’m worried I’ll be antagonised here just by saying them, so I picked some slightly more socially acceptable ones (yes there are some far less socially acceptable things than LGBT these days, in my experience, despite the rampant LGBTphobia).
I wonder if part of it is a lack of patience. So many people, especially online, want to jump to a conclusion as quickly as possible, like what they see in twitter or sms, or similar social media.
While I admit I can be wordy, I’ve been interrupted in conversations after the first few words, where someone has already concluded the opposite what I was trying to say
This habit really grinds my gears sometimes. Especially yesterday. I’m going to rant about this because I didn’t get the chance to actually converse about it yesterday. It will be excessively wordy and petty.
So yesterday I was conversing with a co-worker about having encountered an animal in my backyard. I say conversing but what I really mean is being disappointed.
Anyway I’d seen an animal and didn’t know what it was so I asked their opinion. Was in the back yard and I heard loud noises like a horse breathing hard from it’s nose.
When I finally caught a glimpse it was only briefly and just saw it from behind *Small, pig like tail *Short orange and black fur *Pig like body structure, short legs, round behind *Extremely slow, it “ran” from me at walking pace.
Along with some other things. Began to tell him about it and the first thing I mentioned was the orange and black fur. Was mid sentence trying to elaborate on the rest of the details when he asserted:
“It was a fox!”
It was anything but a fox. I know what foxes look like and explained that to them, along with attempting to explain other observations that would rule out the possibility of it being a fox.
But nah. Fox fox fox fox fox. Nothing I said mattered. What do I know? I was only there, know what a fox looks like which I thought would be the end of story but nope.
Just kept interrupting me with “it’s a fox” and focusing on the orange fur. Ignored completely when I pointed out that it was pig shaped, short tailed, emitted horse/dog noises when breathing etc.
I gave up, it was just an attempt at lighthearted conversation anyway.
Funny part is, when we were leaving work together this same coworker has me stop on the way out. They walk me over and point to a dog with Auburn fur.
Why did they do this? To tell me that it was a fox. The dog was a fox. Not only do they tell me this but they go on to say “this is what you saw!”
I said it wasn’t and that was the end of it. They had said their piece and corrected me, explaining to me how I had erroneously misidentified the mystery animal that I’d seen with my own eyes with a fox.
That was a dog. Beagle to be exact.
What you do is up to you. For me : I run like hell from people like that. If I have to talk to them during work it’s ONLY about work related material.
Yeah that’s good advice kind internet stranger and how I operate with many people. I give this person a little more tolerance because I genuinely believe he’s just never developed the skill of listening. It’s actually surprisingly common in my experience with guys from his generation.
I’ll admit I stopped reading around halfway. Maybe earlier.
Ain’t mad at ya pardner’, As pointed out in the beginning it was lengthy and petty, just wanted to vent about it to cool these 'ole boots
You did good! Keep it up!