I’ve got a niece (5) and nephew (3). The niece is really good about finding ways to entertain herself and the nephew will always try and take it for himself and intrude, usually not in a compromising sort of way. Obviously, this is pretty typical kid behavior overall.

She’s reaching the age where she can learn more complicated games and ideas, which sounds really fun to introduce her to. If he’s around, I feel like it will certainly cause a meltdown, and he’s too young to reasonably participate anyway.

As an older sibling myself. I think it’s also unfair to hold her back until he can participate too. Some would say it’s unfair to do it until he can as well. I would argue that it’s actually unfair to introduce 5 year old games to her when she is 7 and he’s 5 and can join too. She’s being punished imo unnecessarily and being held back. Why does she have to wait till 7 while he gets it at 5?

Is the only solution to try and schedule separate activity times to individualize the activities? Am I being biased as an older sibling myself in feeling that I would be holding back until he’s at the same capability? Just curious for feedback. Thanks

  • TedescheEnglish
    31•1 year ago

    The niece is really good about finding ways to entertain herself and the nephew will always try and take it for himself and intrude, usually not in a compromising sort of way. Obviously, this is pretty typical kid behavior overall.

    I think this is your core problem, really. Who is policing your younger nephew’s behavior in this regard? Even at that age, being able to accept limits without losing your temper is important. Maybe offering him an alternative activity as a distraction would help? Younger siblings often want to be involved in whatever their older sibling is doing, so there’s an element of normalcy to your nephew’s behavior certainly, but it’s also not acceptable and that needs to be communicated clearly to him. He needs to have ways to entertain himself when his big sister isn’t available or at the very least learn to not take over any activity she engages in.

    • Devi
      12•1 year ago

      The thing with his age is that he’s not really at the ‘amuse yourself’ point yet. He just won’t have that ability for a year or two.

      Someone else needs to be with him if he’s doing something completely different.

      • TedescheEnglish
        3•1 year ago

        Fair point, that may be necessary.