recently two friends of mine brought up autism in a conversation. one of them knows about my diagnosis and the other one is a nurse and regularly works with autistic children.

They brought up lots of things I disagree with and that kind of hurt me… They said things like “there are severely autistic people and there are others that are pretty chill” “being autistic is fashionable these days” “people use their autism as an excuse for bad behavior” “autistic people should keep their diagnosis for themselves because society is not really ready for that yet”

I tried to argue against it, but I wasn’t really good at that. I also didn’t feel comfortable to say I am autistic. I felt really devastated when I got back home. I texted one of my friends (the one who knows I am autistic) and said the whole conversation made me feel really bad.

Since she is gay I said that I am feeling the same way you would feel if two of your friends talked about homosexuality the way they talked about autism (“being gay is fashion these days” “people use their homosexuality as an excuse for bad behavior”, “gay people should stay in the closet because society is not ready for them”…) She got really angry at me, literally told me to go fuck myself and that I am victimizing myself…

I feel so hurt by this. invalidated. I don’t know… I just wanted to share :I

  • Nanachi
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    1 year ago

    Could be a toxic social relationship. I don’t know anything about you and them, although sometimes in cases like these, leaving may be better for both parties involved. Maybe they didn’t fully understood what you meant (despite you being rather clear about what you said) and thought you were being homophobic by “attacking” her sexuality. NTs will sometimes prioritise syntax and words more than meaning unsure if they commonly do it (AI and we do that too sometimes lol) so your emphasis may have caused this reaction. Although again, they could also be a… cunt too. I swear, sometimes some of us can be more social, empathic and understanding than most NTs…

    • Nanachi
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      41 year ago

      Also she pointed at how you were “victimizing yourself” which is a rather big sign that she may be a manipulator and/or struggling to understand others emotionally. Not saying she is, just saying a meaningless relationship is better kept frozen.