- cross-posted to:
- weirdway
- cross-posted to:
- weirdway
I was walking around in a park and decided to apply a transformation to my experience when I kept hearing an annoying siren that just wouldn’t shut up.
As soon as I decided that, the siren started to get quieter, with some subtle ups and downs in volume, but trending downward in volume. But this wasn’t happening fast enough for my liking. So I was then focusing this way and that, and I was adjusting my mentality like this and like that to make it go faster. And then it struck me.
It struck me that the reason I was doing that is because on some level I was still assuming that magick is something objective, and then it was my job to find the one right way to do it. I had to match my activity to something I imagined to be objectively the most effective way of performing a transformation.
Then I realized the idiocy of that belief and I found it funny how I still continued to believe it on some level even though I know better. I’m not even sure I’ve learned my lesson. It’s entirely possible the next time some transformation doesn’t work fast enough, I’ll be trying to “tune” it, lol. I hope not. At minimum I shouldn’t tune anything with the idea that I’m matching what I am doing to some external unbending and eternal standard.
I want to drill a bit further into myself for anyone reading these things.
I notice that my prior physicalism didn’t just up and vanish one day. Instead as I am working with subjective idealism, my physicalistic mental habits are weakening. But this is a gradual process with some ups and downs.
So typically there is quite a bit of mental inertia in my mind that will prevent most magickal intents from working. I find that it helps significantly if I am genuinely interested in the transformation I want to see. So for example, that time I mentioned in my original post, I really wanted that siren to shut up. Genuinely. So it was much easier to do that transformation then.
Later I tried doing the same thing you were telling me about: which is a kind of a “let’s just see if I can do it” test. Problem is, I didn’t feel genuine about it. I experienced noises I didn’t care about and I felt like my only reason to manipulate those noises would be to try to “prove” something? But I also have zero desire to prove anything to myself. Then what? Turns out I cannot always contrive intent. Intent is a choice, but that choice, for me specifically and specifically at this time, has to ride on the back of some genuine need, in order to have much force for magickal purposes.
Hypothetically I can imagine someone who has fully assimilated all consequences of subjective idealism and solipsism (which is a specific way to utilize subjective idealism), and has eliminated all contrary beliefs and their associated mental habits, can indeed perform arbitrary manifestations even just to test or prove things, or for very spurious and frivolous reasons. That’s because the resistance to intent in this case will be virtually zero, and you’re essentially in a fully-realized God mode then. But this is not nearly where I am personally at right now, yet.
Originally commented by u/mindseal on 2016-11-11 10:32:46 (d9v2we6)
Ok I’m glad we’re on the same page with that.
These are all great points.
So acknowledging the present without clinging. See I agree with this but by doing so I might be contradicting with my context of abandoning a subtractive approach, so let me expand:
This formula makes a lot of sense to me, but from my experience I’m finding that changing a habit or a contradictory intent works by replacing or reframing said habit/intent rather than removing it. And I do that by imagining a new scenario. I’m not denying my present mindset, I’m still acknowledging it, learning from it, and making peace with it but I’m not constantly going back and accepting it as “this is my reality and that’s how it is now and I need to delete that so I can change it”.
As you said “contradictory intent is usually subconscious” and a subconscious intent is not something you can readily remove but rather leave alone to dissipate from lack of use, just like a muscle, and shift your focus onto a desired intent which will begin to expand subconsciously.
We might be saying the same thing here with different syntax.
Yes! This has been my experience. It’s like trying to manifest a physical object or money because you think it will bring you happiness when in fact your genuine desire is something else completely, so the object or money takes a long time to manifest if at all since your heart is set on another goal. So to know oneself…
(e.g. when I was trying to shut the crow up it wasn’t a genuine desire but more about trying to prove a point to myself, but shifting my focus did the job.)
I was making a silly joke but I appreciate your input and everyone’s input here as if it was my own. The articles are invaluable.
Point taken, I should be more concise with my wording. And as concise as you think you are sometimes it’s not enough and these discussions help dispel that.
Originally commented by u/syncretik on 2016-11-11 14:03:59 (d9vbzo4)
I agree totally. I hope I didn’t create any impressions to the contrary.
Furthermore, I find that before I can reform a contradictory intent it helps to understand it first. All intentional states serve some purpose. For me personally I find I have to acknowledge that purpose and then I have to either decide that I no longer need some purpose to be served, or, find a new way to serve the same old purpose, that will not contradict my magickal intentionality going forward.
So for example, a big reason why I was a physicalist to begin with, is the sense of rock-solid stability and predictability I would feel about myself and the world. So let’s say I want more flexibility, but I still want stability. Then I can’t just blindly throw away physicalism. I have to find new sources of stability first. Then I have to gradually lean on those sources and see if they’re reliable. If yes, I can begin relaxing around my prior physicalism.
So it’s a gradual process and one with a lot of self-respect instead of self-bashing. So even though I recognize I was doing things in a substandard way in the past, I should realize that those old ways still had a reason and I wasn’t a complete idiot in the past. :) Just somewhat foolish, or maybe even not so foolish. Maybe my priorities have changed and now I need a new worldview that better suits those priorities.
So for me it’s a process of gradual understanding of oneself that I believe allows one to relax around the old patterns and reform those patterns into some more suitable newer ones.
Contradictory intentionality can be tricky because so much of it is below the level of consciousness, so before I can understand it, I have to be aware of it to begin with. So much of my own effort is directed at becoming maximally aware of all the activity in my own mind. In this it’s been my experience that it helps to combine passive observation with playful experimentation. This is where the magick comes in. Just sitting quietly and observing I will not learn all there is to know about myself. I have to observe myself in action, during striving, and not just when I am passive or relaxing. It’s particularly instructive when I am striving in some unconventional or beyond-conventional manner too. Again, magick.
It’s starting to look that way.
I agree. What I say is not perfect. I mean, I myself find problems with my earlier articles (especially if they’re really old). Plus, I have a tendency to assume everyone is on the same page as me, so I speak in a kind of shorthand that often assumes too much. On the other hand, I have to speak imperfectly, because if I start to explain every last element of the surrounding context I won’t even get to say anything.
So I say something that’s not 100% right, then you say something else, then I reply, and eventually something emerges that’s better compared to if you didn’t say anything.
I am glad for your replies. I think you’re speaking in a very constructive and helpful way.
Originally commented by u/mindseal on 2016-11-11 14:35:36 (d9vdbmb)
Yes techniques aren’t a one size fits all and you have to find what works best for you in any given situation. Awareness is crucial at all times as it helps you to tune your approach and customize it appropriately. Magick is a bespoke artform.
The discussions help chip away the excess and create a more refined model of understanding, even if it’s a temporary model which acts as a stepping stone for an improved one (ironically, the theme of this thread).
It’s always a pleasure and I appreciate the kind words.
Originally commented by u/syncretik on 2016-11-12 11:06:25 (d9wk888)
Well said.
Originally commented by u/mindseal on 2016-11-12 13:10:09 (d9woxku)