Yeah this hurt. When I became homeless I ended up vanishing from everything. Had no Internet access or anything. Was just gone. Always checked in with people. Was there when needed and then I can’t contact anyone for a month. I was worried about my friends and worried they were worried about me and that I couldn’t tell them what was going on.
When I finally got access to the Internet to message people I realized no one had even noticed. No one messaged me asking where I was. No one checked in. No one did anything. I sent a couple people a message like “Hey hows it going?” and they’d respond with the usual. Really didn’t notice I was gone.
I ended up logging back out of all of it. Didn’t login again until a year later when I was in a homeless shelter trying to figure things out.
One person messaged me.
They were asking if I could share Netflix with them.
I deleted my accounts. Have a hard time trusting people and making friends noe not like childhood abuse from my mother made it easy. How do you believe people care when your parents don’t and when the people you loved didnt?
Happy Holidays. I’m spending mine in bed.
The beginning of COVID was a real eye opener for me. I was checking on work my friends and family and work colleagues to make sure they were okay and eventually realized that no one reciprocated. No one cared enough to reach out. I was in tears after a call with my own mom where she asked how my boyfriend was doing twice but she never asked about me.
Long story short, but I’ve cut a lot of ties and am trying to focus on myself for a bit. Really fucking lonely, but I think I prefer this to believing I have people who care about me when they actually don’t. The truth hurts, but it’s been really freeing too. Now I just need to find my people, which is really hard now because I don’t go out due to social anhedonia. Yay…