Almost all my life I’ve absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I’ve hated being around children.
It doesn’t even matter what the child is doing. Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.
I’ve had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I’d stayed I’d have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.
It’s even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can’t help it. I know the kids don’t know any better and it’s our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?
Agreed. But, it is supposed to. We are wired for it.
[Facetious content warning: cheesy “as a parent” talk] Having a kid completely changed how the wires hit your empathy-center. The fact something you love inexplicably more than anything makes that sound, is looking at you for relief, and then you provide it (sometimes), it changes you. And other people’s babies don’t really bother you anymore. It fires up a different nerve center.
When I hear parents apologize to strangers about their baby and they get the response “it’s ok, I’m a parent, too.”, I take it as shorthand that they mean “our brains have been rewired too. We get it. So if your baby cries, we’ll just frown with our bottom lip way down. We don’t know why. There is no control anymore. The wires, they’re all fucked up. Oh god why? Will I ever be normal again?”. Then they catch themselves, and hide that instant of self-awareness by cooing at the baby. Tale as old as time.
Edit: Getting a few downvotes. Nbd. But I want to stress that this is not a top-level comment, and therefore should in no way be interpreted as an answer to OP’s question. In no way do I advocate having kids to fix any kind of problem, especially one of the type OP is asking about. I will sing the praises of vasectomies from personal experience.