I’m not going to respond point-by-point to your post as there is a lot to unpack there. First, I’ll say I’m sorry that this has been your experience. Second, I’ll say that my postings above are all with the understanding that both you and your prospective mates are in good physical and mental health. Without these, complications in a relationship abound!
I think you touched a number of times that the women you were in long term relationships with didn’t meet the first criteria of being fully functional adults. Its sad to say, but you can’t fix someone else if they aren’t a mature adult. Entangling yourself with them in a relationship will be a drain on you and the relationship. Also, you admit that you ignored some of these signs (like them requiring your money or to solve their problems), these are red flags that the relationship isn’t equal. You said you were a doormat and let them manipulate you. Part of being a fully formed adult is understanding you have value and enforcing healthy boundaries. When they dismissed yours, that was another sign you should exit the relationship.
As to there being a need for actual psychologically sound relationship advice being a thing that society should receive, you seem to say that people should just figure this out naturally, if I am not misunderstanding you.
You are misunderstanding me. Again, I was speaking about otherwise healthy individuals learning about growing up and valuing other people. There’s no textbook that can explain how to treat other people. Its not arbitrary rules, but instead self worth and empathy.
As to your claim that essentially its fine to get your relationship psychological advice from tiktok,
I’ve said nothing of the sort. I don’t even use tiktok. I strongly recommend getting psychological advice from a trained professional. There’s no shame in this. The world is messy and complicated and we need tools to sort it out. Professional help, helps.
I’m not going to respond point-by-point to your post as there is a lot to unpack there. First, I’ll say I’m sorry that this has been your experience. Second, I’ll say that my postings above are all with the understanding that both you and your prospective mates are in good physical and mental health. Without these, complications in a relationship abound!
I think you touched a number of times that the women you were in long term relationships with didn’t meet the first criteria of being fully functional adults. Its sad to say, but you can’t fix someone else if they aren’t a mature adult. Entangling yourself with them in a relationship will be a drain on you and the relationship. Also, you admit that you ignored some of these signs (like them requiring your money or to solve their problems), these are red flags that the relationship isn’t equal. You said you were a doormat and let them manipulate you. Part of being a fully formed adult is understanding you have value and enforcing healthy boundaries. When they dismissed yours, that was another sign you should exit the relationship.
You are misunderstanding me. Again, I was speaking about otherwise healthy individuals learning about growing up and valuing other people. There’s no textbook that can explain how to treat other people. Its not arbitrary rules, but instead self worth and empathy.
I’ve said nothing of the sort. I don’t even use tiktok. I strongly recommend getting psychological advice from a trained professional. There’s no shame in this. The world is messy and complicated and we need tools to sort it out. Professional help, helps.