I’m really stuck. I’ve been unhappy for years and we’ve done couple’s therapy and tried to reconnect, but it’s just not enough.

I have a bad habit of feeling guilty and responsible for everything and I just can’t see a future where I hurt my partner so badly. I don’t know how to sever myself from the relationship and alllllll of the stuff and responsibilities. My partner slacked off when it came to college internships so they’ve been unemployed for years, and now finally found a fast food job. But that means that if I leave, they’re done for. They can’t pay the mortgage alone, nevertheless the bills or food. They also mentioned in our therapy that their greatest fear is divorce and I don’t know if that’s because they’re still so attached to me or if it’s the fear of having to make it on their own.

How do I uproot their entire life over my unhappiness? That just doesn’t seem like something I could possibly do… but I can’t stay here, I’m withering away.

Help?

  • snooggums
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    fedilink
    510 months ago

    “I want a divorce.”

    If their situation is the result of their actions, then you are not ultimately responsible for them. A relationship is a partnership, and while there is some expectation that you both support each other when times are difficult, there are still limits.