• @AgentGrimstone
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    10 months ago

    Watch an episode of 90 Day Fiance if you have a hard time imagining the woman being the abuser.

    • @pete_the_cat
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      1410 months ago

      Absolutely, since women generally are the weaker of the two they don’t use violence/physical force a lot of the time, their weapon of choice is emotional abuse.

      • Captain Aggravated
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        2310 months ago

        Of the 13 women I’ve dated, 8 were physically violent with me. I’ve been slapped, punched, kicked, scratched, bitten, spat on, hit with blunt objects, and in one case burned by women I was with. And I suspect that number is as low as it is because the violence came mostly from women I was going long-term with; flings and one night stands were less likely to hit.

        I never struck any of them. Not once.

        • @[email protected]
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          410 months ago

          Of the five I’ve dated, none have used violence except my last ex, who started slapping me once during a drunken argument. So one out of five I guess.

        • @[email protected]
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          -110 months ago

          That tracks with what I’ve read. Women are responsible for most of the nonreciprocal domestic violence cases, by a whopping 70% or some such.

          Cowards are cowards, they hit people when they know they won’t be hit back.

      • @Malfeasant
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        510 months ago

        That is not necessarily true. Yes, women are generally weaker than men, but individual variation means a woman can be stronger than a man.

        Aside from that, the difference in strength doesn’t matter that much- no matter how much my mom hit me, I never really had the desire to hit her back. Even when I was a teenager and could have wrecked her, I didn’t want to. Then on top of that, there’s the very real problem of authorities getting involved, they’re going to assume the male is the aggressor, really limits your available options…

        It was the same for my dad. I still remember their last fight before the divorce. They were cleaning up after dinner, and my dad dropped the ice cube tray, scattering ice across the floor. This set my mom off and she started screaming at him about how worthless he was, and she tried to kick him in the gut. He caught her foot, purely out of self defense, but that threw her off balance and she fell on the cat dishes, which led to some pretty gnarly bruising… I didn’t see the whole fight, I was upstairs, but I heard it going on and came down just in time to see my mom sitting on the floor (sobbing, like she hadn’t started the whole thing) and my dad standing there with a look of “I can’t take this anymore”

        Anywho, the point of all that was, it’s not about physical strength - an abuser has a meanness that their victim(s) lack, and that matters far more.