I once gave my ex a hummer. He asked, “Is that the national anthem?”

I told him, “If you don’t cum, the terrorists win.” And returned to my work.

On a more modern one; this requires a bit of backstory.

If you’re familiar with bad dragon, they sell sex toys one might use if they have… specific? Tastes. My current boyfriend and I have mutually interesting tastes. He got a toy known as a wearable. It’s purpose is to put your dick in, then use it to screw your partner, and they have fantasy or fetishistic shapes. My boyfriend surprised me with one at Christmas, that would’ve fulfilled that fantasy, and despite buying the largest size, he is unable to wear it.

He and I were eating lunch at Sam’s Club. I was making several innuendos about how his cock is bigger than the hotdog. He was being intentionally obtuse. This week, on Wednesday, while he’s at work, I’m going to buy one of those hotdogs, put it inside the sex toy, and send him a picture (to prove that it can fit where he cannot). I’m going to caption it something funny (if you have any ideas please let me know) and since we had this conversation over a week ago, he’s going to be taken entirely by surprise, and laugh about it forever.