Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    174 months ago

    and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer)

    Have you directly asked about this? That would be my first concern, do they truly want me living at home still? Moving out doesn’t mean you have to never see family again, you can have a set day or two every week to come over for dinner/a visit.

    The second concern I would have would be bringing a significant other around, or even a first date. You don’t want to bring every person you go on a date with to meet the parents, only the ones that are serious.

    So if you’re family is actually okay with you staying, and you’re okay with bringing dates home around then, then go for it. Doesn’t seem to be hurting anyone.

    • @treechickenOP
      link
      94 months ago

      My dad usually convinces me on the pros of staying at home whenever it comes up. I did do the visit-every-two-weeks thing in college but family just felt more distant then.

      Second concern is something I also hear a lot. I haven’t had much luck dating though so may not be the most relevant to me rn :P

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        64 months ago

        Speaking as someone who’s likely around your dad’s age, you could maybe approach him about investing jointly in a 2nd property? You could go live there and manage it, while dad might see it as an investment towards retirement.