This is why we never gave her a bat mitzvah.

Oh, but does she want 8 Hanukkah presents every year? You bet she does.

Clearly she inherited the multi-generation Indiana family food gene from her non-Jewish mother. Either that, or this is not my daughter. Should I go on Maury?

I’m not even going to try with the gefilte fish. I don’t need the tsouris.

And I’ll tell you one thing- she isn’t going looking for an afikomen come Passover.

Non-Jews: it’s probably best to just ignore my rant. Thank you.

EDIT: Hmm. Guess people here aren’t matzo fans either. Oh well.