It sounds like you’re going through hell. I’m so sorry and totally empathize.

You are doing the right thing seeking treatment.

Here’s what I wish I had known before seeking treatment:

You may not need testing.

Your professional is qualified to diagnose based on what you have been experiencing. Think of calling the fire department when your house is on fire and expecting them to have to test for fire first. They’ll clearly see a fire and get to work.

Some say there is a test, others say there isn’t a definitive test. Which is it? If someone reads this and knows, I’m all ears.

I was told that I could get tested if I needed something for applying for disability, but getting an appointment with another specialist took months, would cost hundred of dollars out of pocket (insurance term if you aren’t in the States), and I still couldn’t get an answer as to whether the test was, I don’t know how to call it, “really an indicator” of ADHD. So confusing. I cancelled the appointment. I don’t need disability fortunately, I just have imposter syndrome and wanted to make sure I wasn’t “faking it”. Your professional will help you determine if you’re faking it, so the imposter syndrome should quiet down after awhile.

There are different paths for seeking treatment, medical and behavioral.

Medical is done with prescribed medicine through a psychiatrist. You may also see a licensed psychiatric nurse who can prescribe also.

Behavioral is done with a psychologist. Psychologists are not medically licensed, so they cannot prescribe. If you use a psychologist, know from the beginning that a prescription is off the table. I don’t know you, your beliefs or situation, but if I were recommending to my past self, I would suggest the medical route. I chose to supplement my medical treatment with behavioral later down the line.

You may need to try several prescriptions before getting it right.

In the beginning you will be seeing your doctor every 30 days. If you are going to notice a difference with medication, it will be on the first day. The 30 day period to see if you need a change in dosage or if there are any side effects that may warrant a change in type of medicine, say from Aderall to Vyvaanse. You should be seeing improvement during this process, so it’s still worth it. Think of it like clothes shopping. You’re trying to get the right fit, but you’re still wearing clothes.

If you have anxiety or depression, ADHD meds will not make that go away. Your professional will help you diagnose and treat that as well.

ADHD is comorbid with anxiety and/or depression. Comorbid means that two diseases are not the same or related, but are more likely exist at the same time. Example: two friends, X and Y love to hang out together, but telling X to go home doesn’t mean Y is leaving too. You may need to try different medications here also in order to get the right fit.

Expect a period of mourning when your symptoms are under control.

You will see how your life would have been different if you didn’t have ADHD messing you up. It will make you angry. It will make you sad. You will cry. It’s a fucking horrible realization how much easier life would have been if you had been born neurotypical. Come here to vent. I’m here for you as I’m sure many others are.

Expect everything to be “ADHD” for awhile.

You will become hyper aware of everything ADHD related and may become annoying to your partner, ha ha. “Oh my god, ADHD is the reason I can’t tolerate lipsmacking noises!” It’s called mysophonia and, yes, I just grossed myself out thinking about lipsmacking. You may not have mysophonia. Some people realize they have dysgraphia (I don’t), others may figure out that their little “quirks” are something they share with other ADHD’ers. This is an adjustment phase. Normal, annoying, maddening, saddening.

Come back to this forum if you have questions or need sympathy. I’ll listen for sure. No one will laugh at you, more likely we will all laugh with you over how ridiculous all this is. Good luck.