[Logo containing a smiling cow in a giant pasture goes here]

Menu

  • Happy burger: Hand-crafted half-pound burger using free-range, grass-fed beef.
  • Chicken burger: Lovingly-made chicken patties, sustainably-sourced from a queer, wxmxn-exploited ranch in the Amazon rainforest.
  • Veggie burger: Impossible patty that has been drenched in cheese. All patties have been soaked overnight in milk and fried with happy-caged eggs.
  • Fries: Fried with pure beef tallow and lard
  • Ton of CO2: Because we care about the environment, we will let you release a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere. Don’t worry, we buy carbon offsets!

Vegan menu

  • Side of extra pickles
  • Soda (vegan optional)
  • @novaEnglish
    6•1 year ago

    Uh YEAH RIGHT there is no way that cow is happy. It probably had to eat vegetables its whole life and everyone knows you can’t be happy eating VEGAN food.