I was evangelical Christian. As straight and pious as they come in the way the most aren’t. I was steeped in it and had a heavy natural skepticism but that was beat out of me and I tried so fucking hard to believe. I realized when I was 31 or so that I never actually did believe and that I was just trying to believe. But I leveraged all the usual mental gymnastics that made my 15 year old brain feel clever. So when I got away from it (I got burned real bad by a pastor… long story… that made me hesitant and scared to go to another church) I got the space I needed to find the perspective and lean into my skepticism.
Damn. Well, here’s to you living a better life post-Evangelicalism. I’m sorry something horrible had to happen to finally push you away for good, but I hope you’ve been able to recover from whatever it was and find happiness.
I was evangelical Christian. As straight and pious as they come in the way the most aren’t. I was steeped in it and had a heavy natural skepticism but that was beat out of me and I tried so fucking hard to believe. I realized when I was 31 or so that I never actually did believe and that I was just trying to believe. But I leveraged all the usual mental gymnastics that made my 15 year old brain feel clever. So when I got away from it (I got burned real bad by a pastor… long story… that made me hesitant and scared to go to another church) I got the space I needed to find the perspective and lean into my skepticism.
That’s the spark notes version of how I got out.
Damn. Well, here’s to you living a better life post-Evangelicalism. I’m sorry something horrible had to happen to finally push you away for good, but I hope you’ve been able to recover from whatever it was and find happiness.
Thanks!
I’m happier and living the best life I ever have. 💖💖