It doesn’t just have to be “oh I’m a man/woman/enby.” What qualities do you have or want to obtain as your gender? How do you express yourself? What does your gender feel like?
It doesn’t just have to be “oh I’m a man/woman/enby.” What qualities do you have or want to obtain as your gender? How do you express yourself? What does your gender feel like?
My gender is “not man.” The title “man” feels like an ill-fitting jacket on me, heavy and burdensome. I describe it, in specific terms, as genderflux demigirl; I only ever feel varying degrees of “girl,” ranging from not girl to all girl, but never any amount of man; agender to girl. I don’t want to be manly and I don’t want to be put in the same category as men. In simple terms, I tell people that I’m genderfluid with they/them pronouns because I find they/them acceptable for all presentations, even if I would prefer she/her.
I don’t have any issues with men, it’s just not me. I’m still pre-HRT and I haven’t built up the courage to try to present femme. The farthest I’ve strayed is GNC. Regardless, I want people to see and treat me as a girl. I share the sentiment that some of the traits I want and exhibit aren’t necessarily gendered, but they’re part of what makes up my gender.
I want to be vulnerable, emotional, graceful, and unintimidating. I have a large sense of empathy, but my emotions are locked. I’m wearing a mask unless I’m significantly inebriated and I hate it. I hate that I’m big, strong, and clumsy. I hate that I feel like I have to avoid strangers and give them breadth on the street because my presence might make them feel uncomfortable. I hate that I feel anxious and pent up all the time.
I want people to see me for who I feel that I am When people look at me, I want them to think: cute, adorable, soft, dainty. I don’t want the weight, the baggage, and the assumptions that come with “man” because the truth is that I’m not strong, brave, powerful, or confident and I don’t necessarily want to exhibit or exude these qualities. As it stands, people assume that I have these qualities because they sort me with men. I am not man. I am me. Hell, I don’t even think I’m woman, but I am girl. I want to look girl. I want to feel girl. To some extent, I already behave like a girl. I want people to see girl.
Wtf I did not expect I would ever read a detailed description of my gender. Are you me?? This is so gay
So much this… masculine is not in any way a desire of mine. Nor do I myself at all attracted to masculinity. Being in a group of men is exhausting (although it is VERY easy to get caught up in general jackassery and do some stupid shit), and most of my friend group in middle and high school was girls. The “boys will be boys” type behavior has always felt gross and uncomfortable to be around.
I would like to be someone people are comfortable around, I don’t want to be the center of attention or anything. Some days I want to feel pretty, some days I just want to “be”.
Masculinity just feels heavy, clunky, and burdensome.
Masculinity, or man-ness? I like being a tomboy sometimes, but never a man.
That is a good distinction. Man-ness I suppose is more accurate in my case.
I think I would consider myself a bit more of a femme leaning enby currently, but would like to experience HRT and think more on it in the future.
I’m planning on it. Remind me in three weeks and I’ll tell you how it’s going.
Oh I definitely plan to as well, life circumstances are just highly incentivizing waiting until at least October.