Hello all, my daughter is eight years old. She is high functioning autistic. One trouble she has is she will either misunderstand social situation’s or become easily triggered. When these things happen her mind becomes disorganized and she will have meltdowns. She will not be able to gather her thoughts and ends up yelling at the other person (usually her older brother) but not in a way that is not productive to solving the problem…

I have talked to her about calm down techniques, but she is asking if there is ways that people with autism specifically handle these things. I know how I handle them, but I am coming from neurotypical perspective and even though I have done a lot of reading on this topic I feel it would be a good idea to reach out to the community to see if you all have any advice for her.

So what do you all do in a high stress situation where your brain just wants to yell? What helps sooth and calm, sooth, and organize thoughts?

  • pizza_rolls
    10•1 year ago

    I’m autistic. You’re describing overstimulation. She is only 8, and it will take time for her to understand what is overstimulating and how to appropriately deal with it. When I am in an overstimulating situation I take breaks, for example taking a walk away from a party.

    The thing about being overstimulated is it’s not something where you just take deep breaths and calm down and feel better magically. You need to be removed from what’s overstimulating you. Imagine being in a room of people who are all screaming at you and you are being pushed to continue to function despite that. That’s what being overstimulated is like.

    Another important thing to keep in mind is not to push her to act neurotypical. When I’m around a lot of people I reach a point where I “shut down”. I am still actively listening but I am quiet and over talking. Make sure you and other family members are not pushing her to be talkative if she wants to be quiet. And assist her being able to take breaks or allow her to acknowledge she is overstimulated and remove herself from the situation. A huge problem, that I have experienced myself and seen other families do with autistic kids, is force them to act “normal” in overstimulating situations. That’s a great way to lead to a meltdown. If her siblings are neurotypical they might be doing this because they don’t understand.

    Sometimes though things are out of your control or it sneaks up on you and you NEED to meltdown to feel better. She needs to figure out a way she can do that without taking it out on someone. Go to her room and cry, run around outside, yell outside, something. All of this is up to her to decide and figure out since it varies per person, but you can help her by reminding her she needs to redirect her meltdown and giving her the space to do so.

    And just FYI, it’s not high functioning or low functioning anymore. Autism is now described by the level of support someone needs, because someone can appear “high functioning” in certain scenarios but need a lot of support in other ways.