Or in other words, do you wish you were born “fitting in” to the society we live in? Why or why not?

This might be a divisive question so please remember to be civil and respectful.

I believe we should all be proud of our trans identities and how they help make up the beautiful complex people we are, but with rising transphobia around the world, we’ve been pressured to hide this aspect of ourselves and even feel shame or internalized transphobia. It’s important to keep in mind that transphobia and bigotry are learned traits. Not something people are born with. Our society as well as influential people in our lives shape these viewpoints out of fear and lack of understanding.

I think this is why so many of us that fall under a binary trans umbrella (including myself) are overly concerned with passing in public. Or “presenting as cis” vs being comfortable with where we are in our process.

Does being concerned with passing mean we wish we were cis? Or is it more of a self defense we have developed to keep ourselves safe even if that means going “stealth” and hiding big aspects of our identity?

What are your thoughts? Do you wish you were cis instead of trans? Why is that?

**EDIT: When writing and thinking about this post, I did not fully consider how different perspectives may view this question. I wrote it using my own experience as a mostly binary trans woman and in turn it excludes a lot of non-binary perspectives.

I apologize for excluding any of our wonderful transiblings from discussion. I’ll keep this in mind moving forward and love each and every one of you!

All the love, -Olivia**

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    78 months ago

    For me it really doesn’t matter, bc most of the challenges I face (and to a certain extent all trans people) are bc of society treating trans people like shit

    If society treated trans people with respect and care then well I would just have an annoying medical condition which is fine by me

    Tho I absolutely see and understand why someone would wish they were just born cis, tho I imagine society not being trash to them would also go a long way in lessening that desire.

    Also to give my answer to your questions, I don’t think being concerned about passing has much to do with wishing to be cis but more to do with wanting to be treated with respect and kindness. From what I have seen people talk about the major things for wanting to be cis is having a strong desire to have the same anatomy as a cis person and not having to deal with immense dysphoria (obviously society being shit is also a big thing but if that were not the case then the previous reasons would be the main reason for wishing to be cis)