I have been extremely consistent for about 11 months, however no ever looks at me and says ‘Oh he probably goes to the gym’

Several reasons

1)Poor starting point

Had a lot of fat and almost no muscle, overweight

2)Trash program

The coach in the gym directly put me on machines without squat bench etc, 20sets per muscle group

  1. (Probably) poor genetics

Barely saw any ‘rapid’ progression on my lifts in the start, took me weeks to increase weight

4)Obsessed with losing fat/fatigue from cut

Ended up cutting way too long, I wanted to get ‘lean’, but since I had no muscle, never lost my gut, just looked even worse ‘skinny fat’

However I seem to have fixed all the issues on my end, and am seeing slow but steady increase in reps and weights, it’s still kinda demotivating when my friends say that they can’t see progress but ofc they don’t know how bad I fucked up and ngl I am actually getting a little excited with everything coming together, and was wondering how long did it take y’all to start looking good

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    78 months ago

    I don’t know when I started to look good. It was tricky for me because I had a long history of on again, off again anorexia and bulimia. In practice that meant my default state was quite overweight, and whenever I tried to diet, even if I started out sustainable and steady with the progress, I’d always succumb to the toxicity of my brain. I think in hindsight, the reason why I was never happy with my body when I did lose the weight was because of lack of muscle.

    So that means that when I did actually start lifting, my only goal was to get stronger. Eventually I found myself losing weight because I was in a better headspace and able to improve my eating habits, but that was probably at least a year after I started. I was never able to cope with the bulk/cut cycle, that feels like a fairly advanced “technique” to get right. the weight loss I experienced was in part due to increased muscle mass and activity levels increasing my needed calories and my actual intake being fairly stable, combined with trying to eat more home cooked foods.

    Another thing that delayed my actual strength was that I had a lot of weaknesses in various supporting muscles. It’s probably something you’ve experienced too, if you were on machines for a while. I think I loosely followed strong lifts, but I’m not sure. I had help from the powerlifting society. I had to put a lot of work into flexibility and stability, because it was like I was starting from the plateau, but once I started making proper progress and I understood good form, I improved quickly.

    If I had to give advice to anyone wanting to get strong, I’d say to be stern with yourself about form. Yes, it’s satisfying as hell to see the number go up as you get stronger, but doing it properly is way more efficient in time and effort than letting oneself off with half reps or bad form. It’s one reason why I liked barbell exercises so much, it was much easier to make adjustments to target different muscle groups - little things like having a wider stance for squats, for example.