cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/17147012

"Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay."

-a 15yo autistic girl experiencing ABA therapy

Source

  • @_cyb3rfunk_English
    9•9 months ago

    To me it depends on the context. In a new job, I take a humble stance and repeat to myself:

    • I don’t know the full context
    • I don’t know who is smart and and who isn’t
    • I have my own biases

    And I just work according to instructions assuming the higher up’s have a roughly good idea what they are doing.

    After a few months, you can start understanding the broader context and spot some mistakes. Then you can start making suggestions.

    • @LwLEnglish
      5•9 months ago

      Yea, if I don’t know the full context then I can just accept it unless I think it’s completely stupid, and then I’ll just ask. Getting the explanation also helps with understanding the processes better.

      I think I most commonly notice this when it’s a movie theme, where some character is struggling with disobeying a person of authority that doesn’t actually hold significant power over them and is just an authority because of social hierarchy. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to obey them if I didn’t want to do what they’re asking, and all I can think is “why are you doing this”.