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- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- nottheonion
Around 6:30 p.m. on May 26, Brittany Shamily was at home with her children, including an infant, when police used a battering ram to bust in her front door. “What the hell is going on?” she screamed, terrified for herself and her family. “I got a three-month-old baby!”
…
While the family was detained outside, the SWAT team “ransacked” their house, the lawsuit says. One SWAT team member punched a basketball-sized hole in the drywall. Another broke through a drop ceiling. They turned over drawers and left what had been an orderly house in disarray.
After this had gone on for more than half an hour, the AirPods were located — on the street outside the family’s home.
It later came to light that one of Shamily and Briscoe’s daughters saw what was likely the stolen Charger careening through their neighborhood a little before 7 a.m. that day. (The vehicle later crashed on the 1700 block of Foley Drive, about six miles from the family’s home.) It stands to reason that someone in the Charger tossed a pair of stolen AirPods onto the street in the vicinity of the quiet house police later busted into and ransacked.
The family, represented by Schock and Erich Vieth, is suing for damages stemming from embarrassment, unreasonable use of force, loss of liberty, and other factors. The lawsuit notes that neither Shamily or Briscoe had been in any trouble with the law for at least a dozen years prior to the incident. “There was no probable cause for the search warrant and had the affidavit contained complete information, the state court judge would not have approved the warrant,” the suit allege
To understand why this particular case necessitated the use of such force, we must delve into the disturbingly plausible sequence of events that could arise from such a seemingly inconsequential event.
Firstly, the tracking capabilities provided by Apple’s Find My feature led authorities to believe that the stolen AirPods were located within Shamily’s residence. This, in turn, led to the assumption that there might be some connection between the family and the carjacking perpetrators. A potential link between the family and the criminal organization behind the carjacking meant they could possess highly sensitive information or have access to deadly weaponry.
Now, let’s imagine the following scenario: if the SWAT team hadn’t raided Shamily’s house and seized any potentially harmful materials, it would have allowed the criminals involved in the carjacking to continue their operations unchecked. This, in turn, would enable them to carry out more successful crimes and amass greater resources. Eventually, they might acquire nuclear technology or develop other advanced weapon systems.
The newly fortified carjacking ring would then target vital military bases and steal missiles, eventually launching a full-scale global war. In the midst of the chaos, one rogue general, seeking to protect his homeland at all costs, would order the launch of every single intercontinental ballistic missile he had under his command. Retaliation from other nations’ militaries would follow suit, resulting in a mutual assured destruction scenario where nuclear fallout envelopes our world.
Don’t give them any ideas