• @[email protected]
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    29 months ago

    We all have our traumas. For instance my grandfather had a similar story - he would not entertain the notion of us having any relion besides Catholicism, though he himself had not attended church in decades. He saw too much how the sausage was made, and could not stomache it, though he still believed, ostensibly, except he did not, but again would not allow us to go our own way without comment. I realize that came from his pain, though have too much of my own to really be able to fully set foot into his shoes there. I realized from all that - and later from reading the irl backstory of CS Lewis, who walked away from his puritanical upbringing to become atheist - that a lot of people have a made-up “god”, and that quite frankly Jesus Himself not only “would be” but WAS fucking PISSED at that aspect of life. We all should be more atheistic - yes, this from the very words of Christ Himself!!! (hehe, my rather… “liberal” interpretation of them anyway:-P, e.g. “be ye either hot or cold, not just making up whatever the fuck you want and call it a day”)

    I feel like there is a Truth to the universe - this is what makes e.g. planes fly in (or in Boeing’s case fall out of) the sky - and while we do not have to choose to live in Reality, preferring our fantasy dreamland adventures, it really is (probably) better to do so. So the real question is whether God exists or not, not whether we want him to. Ofc that proves a bit hard to answer, or to prove even if someone knew for certain. Like in The Matrix movie, if Neo himself introduced himself to you and you saw him fly, but did not record it on camera (or even if you did), how could you convey that? Similarly, how can smart people convey the complexities of mathematics, of physics, of philosophy, to people who literally cannot - as in do not have the capacity to uptake - understand even a fraction of wha t you speak of? How can people who KNOW convey that both the Left and the Right side of politics are both WRONG, having been bought out by corporate special interests (but that even so, one side is most definitely even more so in that regard lately…)? Ofc we cannot, and really, except the “hard sciences” one, how can we even be fully sure of what we DO happen to know? (and even there, physics is constantly over-turning old ideas - like the latest thought that there is no need for all that “dark matter” that the media has been throwing about for decades now, just poof, it’s all gone now!? ofc most things are merely supplanted by a higher-resolution version, like Newtonian is not gone just relegated to a subset of Einsteinian mathematical formulations of our understanding of the universe)

    Another thing I use the Bible for btw is as a repository of the “wisdom of the ages”, as in even though I believe in a God, putting that aside and conjecturing at worst as if that were a false statement even, there is still some merit in its depictions of things. And I definitely looked through its verses regarding teaching… which convey that you just CAN’T force knowledge onto people, not b/c of stupidity but rather b/c of obstinancy. “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.” I still would have offered them the benefits of my knowledge & experience regardless, except it was heartbroken to think that they were being saddled with generational levels of debt, for a degree that they probably would not even use, b/c they lacked the emotional maturity level to handle life beyond the (post-No Child Left Behind era) high school level.

    Regrets: I actually have very few of those in my life, b/c I realize that the past me did not know what the current me does, so how could I have done any differently, and furthermore why bother thinking along the lines as if I somehow could? That said, like CS Lewis (this being the main reason why I like him, b/c I so very much “get” his struggles), I often arrive at the correct conclusion from the most bass-ackwards route, which highly ironically may thereby end up making it potentially the wrong thing, for me in my circumstances. So am I “ahead”, or am I “behind”? Yes! I have a feeling that you, having experienced more than one major “transition” in your own life, may understand exactly what I mean there!:-P (others may be born there already, while you had to struggle to get there, and vice versa) But no matter how painful, those struggles are also what define us and give us character so… tbh I probably would have skipped them, but I am also grateful, in a tiny way, that I am who I am now, and can appreciate so much that I otherwise would not have been able to - if that makes any sense whatsoever?

    I would guess that people love you b/c you seem to have genuine empathy + depth both. That seems… rare these days. It should NOT be, and you would not think it, but given how often people take advantage, it does seem to be like a beautiful flower that gets mowed over quickly as if it were some weed that people feel the need to stamp out quickly:-(. Especially on the interwebz. If you want, you can use that power to make people feel better - as you already do, but I mean consciously! - but ofc I hope you also hold it in check, so that you manage to meet your own needs as well (which are ofc interconnected to helping others, so it truly is a balance there, not just all one or all the other way). I feel like it is good to be Masters of ourselves rather than the other way around. Which ironically… I accomplish by giving in to my desires? But like, making sure that I acknowledge ALL of those, not hyper-fixate on just one at any given moment.

    Bring on the part 2 then! When you are ready. I know what you mean about ownership - I have nothing now but one day if I ever could, the thought of needing to do that worries me. As it probably should:-). 💫

    • @Betch
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      9 months ago

      Similarly, how can smart people convey the complexities of mathematics, of physics, of philosophy, to people who literally cannot - as in do not have the capacity to uptake - understand even a fraction of what you speak of?

      Funny, I was thinking about something similar last night. I’m not a very mathematically inclined person but for some reason last night I was thinking about it and how people who are “mathematically inclined” must see the world in a completely different way than I do. Kind of like how your average gamer and a game programmer might see a video game world differently. You can try to explain to the gamer who knows nothing of the complexities behind game programming and how it is really just all numbers, but they might not be able to see the numbers that make up that beautiful world you’re playing in. This line of thinking can be applied to so many things. I sometimes feel like we may all be on the same planet but we all live in a completely different world.

      Another thing I use the Bible for btw is as a repository of the “wisdom of the ages”

      Yes, that is how I see it too. I don’t know if I had mentioned it in one of my previous replies, since I don’t even remember when that was, but I actually found my grandmothers old bible a couple days ago and decided to start reading it. I read the Satanic bible so I figured I might as well give God’s book a chance! I think it can definitely be a useful tool in that regard because things really haven’t changed all that much. Humans are still the same.

      Regrets

      I see it the same way you do. Were it possible, I might go back in time and tell my younger self to do some things differently, but I would effectively be killing my current self and I love this bitch. It wasn’t always the case but now I think I’m actually kinda cool, I can see value in myself and I wouldn’t want to be someone else. All roads lead to home, some are just longer than others but in the grand scheme of things I don’t believe there is such a thing as wasted time.

      but given how often people take advantage

      Yeah, that is one thing that had made me grow a bit cold in the past, as a coping mechanism. Fortunately over the years I have learned to deal with these things a lot better. I can’t avoid abusers but I can recognize them and limit their impact on me. When I say abusers I don’t necessarily mean bad people either, although there have been some. Some people just don’t realize just how much of their pain I soak up when they dump their trauma on me and some would basically only use me for that but I let it happen. I think it is just as much my fault as it is theirs, I simply overestimated what I could handle. I might’ve also been able to handle much more when I was younger but then as I grew older that shit started weighing really heavily on me.

      I hope you also hold it in check, so that you manage to meet your own needs as well

      That is something I have only recently realized I had to do, for the sake of all my loved ones I need to prioritize myself.

      You may not be a fan of Kendrick Lamar but his song “Mirror” off his latest album (Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers) resonated with me SO strongly. I get the most intense “frissons” whenever I listen to it. The entire album is an absolute masterpiece, as is everything he does in my opinion. It all builds up to “Mirror”, it might not be as impactful if you haven’t listened to the whole album but it still is.

      I accomplish by giving in to my desires?

      Absolutely, you need to do what you need to do to build a strong foundation for yourself. Only when you have that can you support others.

      • @[email protected]
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        29 months ago

        Some people can think in 7 dimensions at once, or so they say. For those of us who struggle to even contemplate a hypercube, we may not even begin to realize how impressive that must be. Then again, that is only one form of IQ, and EQ is still entirely separate. Still, how could an eagle even begin to describe to a turtle what life is like? Not that an eagle is “better” and a turtle “worse”, but despite coinhabiting the same “world” as in physical space, they do experience that world according to SUCH different criteria that they essentially live in separate realities, like different dimensions of that “world”.

        As you said. Similarly in the USA, a white person can call out to a police officer and have some expectation of receiving immediate help, whereas a black person might get the literal opposite of help if they tried the same action. Rich or beautiful people likewise receive differential treatment - the same location, the same experiences, but received against a backdrop of a different lifestyle. Getting fired, or divorced, may just be laughed off by those who would be “set free” by such, vs. someone for whom that is their last thread. It is “the same”… yet so very, Very, VERY different! The tortise and the eagle, or the hare.

        The irony there is that mathematics is pretty much the one universal constant. English, or French, or other languages may vary in their interpretation, and even Logic itself becomes subsumed by mere Justification in human hands. Even programming languages differ - identical syntax may be interpreted differently by C, C++, Java, etc. - though it does come fairly close when you specify all of the code, the language, and the receiving device, which together deterministically implements the mathematical instructions via the flow of electrons in the physical world. Math made real - pattern becomes substance (or something else even cooler-sounding, I dunno:-P).

        Speaking of I have not read a Satanic one - surely there must be more than one type? - but I would give it a chance if I ever came across it. There’s a lot to like there. Also a lot I do not like, but that is the same with literally everything. Not quite the same thing, but on a related note: most pagan religions “lost” the war against Christianity, which I feel like gives the latter some credence. Although… ofc it is not that Christianity “won”, so much as that they “lost” - a HUGE distinction. Perhaps Christianity will lose someday as well… or maybe Jesus is a space/reality alien and when the energy beings come to enslave the human race, those of us who follow it will have been more properly prepared to serve the new overlords? (after all, if Might makes Right, especially for a being - like the owner of The Matrix - who literally can MAKE a Universe, then they do get to call the shots, whether we like it or not) Yeah, that’s pretty out there, so I will bring us back to: who knows, really? Nobody, at least not perfectly, though we try to do the best we can, as far as we know at the time.

        I do not believe in wasted time either… although just try telling that to a boss! Those with more authoritarian mindsets are not capable of accepting this aspect of the Universe, and I concede too that there must be a Balance. So wtf does that even mean - that it both is a waste of time, yet that waste was itself not a waste!? Yes. You get me. It is a contradiction, and within that paradox lies such beauty as to take our breaths away. Yin and Yang - not one or the other, but fucking both, always and never not that.

        You also have a beautiful perspective on abusers: sometimes they do not mean it, sometimes they do but are not “evil”, sometimes they are but… so what? We still gotta roll how we want to, not just always react to however others want, or even not want, us to. We chase after our goals, and they do whatever little thing they want, and we need not even break our stride as we press onwards. This point was REALLY driven home for me HARD when Trump won the 2016 election. Conservatives just did not give two fucks about “him”, but they liked what he could do for them… it was quite strategic. Raw. Naked. Bleeding. Evil incarnate… and therefore beautiful for all of that? Like that movie Haunting of Hill House: a darkness that shines as bright as the stars themselves - and all the more deadly as a result of that. Jon Stewart tried to warn us, he foresaw that and said how “liberal media aims to be correct, but conservative media aims to be effective”. This is why I have lost faith in democracy: it depends on presuppositions, specifically that the voting citizenry are aiming to vote correctly, and that errors are distributed randomly; however it is vulnerable to an outside attack that cause all the errors to bend in a single direction: towards the will of the evil ones (whoever they may be - Putin, Bezos, Musk, and others who prefer to hide deeper in the shadows). Oh well. Like everything else: I will enjoy it while I can.

        But anyway, you were speaking of smaller-scale abuses, like a turtle crying over something to another turtle, never realizing that e.g. taking a long time to speak could be agonizing to an eagle (or the analogy works far better in reverse:-D). Many people do not realize it. Many others do realize it but do not care:-(. Some even realize it, care, and enjoy it:-|!? But if you get overwhelmed, you cannot help anyone else, least of all yourself, so yeah, guard your heart, most definitely. Literall nobody else can do it for you (well, they can help though:-).

        I want to share with you a phrase that I have always hated: “If you see yourself in others, whom can you harm?” Whoever invented that must have had two loving parents, and can just fuck right off as far as I am concerned for rubbing that in the faces of those of us who did not. Setting that aside, part-way, even if you gave zero thought to your own welfare and cared exclusively for others, you STILL need to take care of yourself, or you will not be able to do that! (for very long) YOU ARE A PEOPLE TOO!!! I really like how the Bible portrays that: “the measuring procedure that you use to levy judgement upon others is the identical process by which you will use to judge yourself”. People either suck, in which case you do, or they are worthwhile, in which case… say it with me… you are worthwhile too:-P. I have fought against this every hour of every day of my entire life, but it is True nonetheless. I HATE that thought… but I can’t fight physics, or in this case the more relevant part is that it is just how human psychology works. I do not know much, but this is one that I do feel certain about, and I hope sharing these thoughts help you too (and by extension, perhaps me as well?:-P).

        I am glad that you are going through such a time of change, to be able to get frissons!:-) I have been closing off so much lately that it will take some time to open up again:-(. But that too… is not a waste of time (except it is, but even so - it is what must be:-). I almost wonder why he says “I’m sorry”, b/c it is the Right thing to do, though I get that he does feel guilt for it too, but still there is that nagging thought: is that a slight admission of doubt, that he is not entirely certain that it is the correct path? And like, he could have said “I need to choose Me”, but instead he chose the other wording… so I wonder, what does that mean? I am probably over-thinking it, and quite frankly the intricacies hardly matter, b/c the main thing is what it means to you. I am SOOO glad that it gives you peace - b/c yes gurl you NEED to get that!:-)

        About me saying that I accomplish Mastery of my Mind, I wanted to be sure that I conveyed that I feel like I cannot win when it becomes a “struggle” - even at best if one side or the other were to totally conquer the opponent, then I overall would lose. So by “giving in to my desires”, I mean not fighting it, nor letting it win either, but striving to achieve that Yin/Yang balance of winning when and where most needs to happen at each given moment, the trick being to find what that is. Some things I have practiced enough to have a really good idea of precisely where that line is, while other things I severely struggle on a daily basis to even identify the factors involved. As I suspect we all do, at least those of us who allow ourselves to remain open to adventure rather than falling prey to stagnation.

        Hehe, this music is good for other reasons too:-D.

        • @Betch
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          9 months ago

          Omg I have a couple minutes of free time today! I don’t remember where I was at before life came at me 😅

          Speaking of I have not read a Satanic one - surely there must be more than one type? I read the one by Anton LaVey, it was kinda basic and very short but I still really enjoyed it. I’ve heard it described as “baby’s first Nietzche” and I guess that’d be a pretty apt comparison.

          Perhaps Christianity will lose someday as well… or maybe Jesus is a space/reality alien and when the energy beings come to enslave the human race, those of us who follow it will have been more properly prepared to serve the new overlords?

          Bahah I have definitely thought about that as well. Life is so crazy, I wouldn’t even be that surprised if that was the actual truth. It’s not as “out there” to me because I’m also out there but yes, it is out there. We do not know, we are not ready to know, we may not even want to know. All that I know is that the questions are wonderful and it’s the only thing in life that never gets boring.

          It is a contradiction, and within that paradox lies such beauty as to take our breaths away. Yin and Yang - not one or the other, but fucking both, always and never not that

          Amen! It’s sometimes hard to deal with this reality but that’s just how it has to be.

          Conservatives just did not give two fucks about “him”, but they liked what he could do for them… it was quite strategic. Raw. Naked. Bleeding. Evil incarnate…

          Yup. To be completely honest, I hate to say it but I was kind of one of those people in 2015. I was not a conservative, I’ve never been a conservative but I was miserable at the time, which I feel is his core demographic. Obviously I’m not even American so I couldn’t and wouldn’t have ended up voting for him but there was a time at the beginning where I participated in the Pro-Trump meme culture. I told myself, and I’m really sorry about that (oof I have a hard time typing it out because it’s so fucking stupid and shameful.), I told myself that Trump could be a “good candidate” because he was so bad he could bring down the “American empire” and then maybe “things could change”. Not thinking about what could end up replacing it, not even taking into consideration all the lives that could be affected or even ruined. I wasn’t evil but I was lost. I feel actual guilt about the way things turned out, like I actually had a part in it and my beliefs tell me that I did. Now I am very careful what I wish for.

          This is why I have lost faith in democracy: it depends on presuppositions, specifically that the voting citizenry are aiming to vote correctly

          I feel that. It is vulnerable from outside attacks, and also from the inside. I don’t know of a system that has no vulnerabilities though. As long as there are people involved, there are going to be vulnerabilities.

          Oh well. Like everything else: I will enjoy it while I can.

          Yup! Life is much better with that mentality. It’s cliché but it didn’t get to become cliché for no reason. Enjoy things as they are and embrace the changes when they inevitably come. I’m not saying we should just accept everything that happens but we need to find enthusiasm and a “raison d’être” in the new paths we are thrown into.

          I want to share with you a phrase that I have always hated: “If you see yourself in others, whom can you harm?” Whoever invented that must have had two loving parents, and can just fuck right off as far as I am concerned for rubbing that in the faces of those of us who did not.

          Aw, I’ve never heard that phrase before. I can see the spirit in which it is intended but I can also see your point. It must be terrible to have less than great parents. Fortunately (and also unfortunately), I have been very lucky in that department so I can’t even begin to truly understand how that must’ve been and I have tried.

          It reminds me of something a friend told me a bit over 10 years ago that never left me. He basically said that whenever you dislike a person for the way they are, you’re probably seeing reflections of yourself that you try to hide. I felt it was true then and the older I get the more I find it to be true. I’ve also noticed that a lot of the people that I’ve become very close friends with have been people I kinda disliked on first impressions. I think that said a lot about myself as well.

          I have been closing off so much lately that it will take some time to open up again:-(

          Yeah I know how that feels. It’ll get better though and it is definitely not a waste of time.

          The way I interpret it is just that he feels sorry for letting people down and not living up the the expectations people had of him, sorry for not actually being a saviour, even though he never said he was and it was something that was just dumped on him.

          About me saying that I accomplish Mastery of my Mind …

          I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that paragraph. What is it that you mean by a struggle in this context?

          • @[email protected]
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            29 months ago

            All that I know is that the questions are wonderful and it’s the only thing in life that never gets boring.

            YES - THIS IS IT!!! Like, whether we have free will or not, I do not know,(but as we mentioned, it doesn’t even matter b/c either way we need to act as if we do) but whether we SHOULD have free will is something that we could answer… if we knew for certain that there was an external entity. Star Trek is famous for exploring this. Like even if the actual Zeus did exist (they never met him iirc but Kirk did run into Apollo/Mercury at some point…), what “claim” would he have over humanity? Same with Arthur C. Clarke’s (2001 A Space Odyssey) saga: just b/c they gave us our start (into sentience, or even seeding DNA & thus life itself?) doesn’t necessarily mean that they should have agency over us…

            Whereas on the other hand, whatever OS I am running on my computer (Mac OSX for me, though I hear that some people on Lemmy prefer Arch btw:-D) very much should obey my commands. e.g. when I tell it to reboot or to shut down a misbehaving program, I want it to do it NOW (or at least… soon, even if it needs a few moments to wrap things up, that’s arguably far better b/c then it can do so safely). That, to me, seems to go beyond “might makes right”, b/c we literally put in love, care, attention, and design into making that OS. The gulf b/t human sentience vs. like a worm or even a bacteria is far lesser than the gulf b/t us vs. the programs that we write, in terms of autonomy. We own it b/c we MADE it. (I am ignoring future AIs where we set up the system but then it kinda makes itself - a fascinating thought that very likely could qualify for an exemption, so here I am just bypassing that line of thinking entirely)

            Anyway, I love thinking such thoughts:-D. I have no idea if doing so offers practical benefits (I kinda do not care!:-P), but it very well might. e.g. just how much agency / oversight did Elon Musk offer to building his Tesla cars? With all the crashes & potentially actually fatal consequences, it seems that even he did not put in the effort to truly know what those cars are all about. Thus if some hacker were to do so, would they “take ownership”, and be able to bypass certain features & controls, in a manner that even Musk himself (& most of his engineers) has no idea exists - and in so doing, would they have that “right”, or is that just another example of “might makes right”, where they can & therefore they do? (which is a power that they could wield for good - e.g. go ahead and pay the subscription service, in order to help keep the company afloat, and yet still patch security vulnerabilities that the company itself never bothers to implement - so such a thought would not have to be solely due to piracy & stealing considerations)

            According to such thinking then, if the Illuminati control the world, then can Anonymous help fix it, like Robin Hood? Except that Power Corrupts, and Absolutely Power… well the latter actually often turns around and converts to good, given enough time passing and the proclivities of the person, but even 99.99% Power corrupts nearly Absolutely, so it might end up being the other way around - perhaps they will merely join or subvert the Illuminati, or even become co-opted by them unknowingly? Trump presented himself as a style of “Robin Hood”-esque “savior” type, saying how he was going to “drain the swamp” and fix all the problems, but he did not work out so well. And while that attempt was blatantly obvious to anyone who has eyes, who is to say that the next attempt will be so readily detectable?

            You do not need to apologize: Trump had a lot of us fooled, and I don’t think your underlying idea - motivated by compassion - is wrong at all. I happened to not be fooled, at least in that same sense, but only b/c of my background having been similarly fooled by earlier events (so without those, I easily could have been), and even now I agree that he did a lot of good: by exposing the vulnerabilities inherent in our system, he may have done a lot better than Hilary Clinton would have to cause them to be fixed? She would have papered over the whole situation - her whole message was just “the status quo is absolutely fine” - but it is FUCKING NOT FINE!!!?!!! So I understand why people voted against her, even if that meant voting for him. Even now, I think her particular brand of insensitivity to people’s needs is far more toxic & deadly than whatever Trump may have wrought for us - even if that leads to the death of America, it seems preferable to me to at least be honest about that death, rather than to keep claiming the “this is fine” meme (as in, “THIS IS FINE - OR ELSE!! Do not say that you are not fine, or you will be imprisoned!”). Unfortunately, Democrats seemed to have learned very little from the whole thing.:-(

            Part of what I mean in that I am losing hope for democracy, is that I am wondering if I should be gaining hope in whatever may replace it? If this truly is a non-viable solution to begin with, then whatever we end up with later could potentially be better? Like, instead of a nation full of suicidal people who cannot afford housing and hate their jobs, what if we accepted that we are mere peasants and at least came to peaceful coexistence with that thought? I dunno, maybe I sound like a subversive there, but it is a thought that I cannot shake from my head. Is being a slave more “honest” than being a “free” employee, who nonetheless depends on their job for food/housing/medical care/existence? I guess you could say that I am questioning EVERYTHING - even just what our “freedom” may offer us? Unlike the earlier discussion points we mentioned, I despite these thoughts… but if they are coming at us regardless… then I at least want to struggle to open my eyes, regardless of whatever I might see:-(. In so doing, I am prepared to leave my religion, or double down harder on it, or shift it over to something else, or wherever the facts (as best as I can see them anyway) may take me. And that’s good imho - I feel proud about that aspect of myself:-).

            If you see yourself in others, whom can you harm?

            It is a common bumper sticker on vehicles that I saw a few years back, often alongside the words “Coexist”. The latter phrase is fantastic, but the phrase I mentioned really rubs me the wrong way. I believe it is Buddhist? Anyway, as you picked up on, my reaction was not how it was meant to be interpreted:-D - and I get that, and don’t even hold it against the statement itself, except… I still have my preferences about the whole affair, and I happen to hate it:-P, and I am okay with having that emotion about it. Life is a journey, not a destination, and all that.

            I wanted to be sure that I conveyed that I feel like I cannot win when it becomes a “struggle” - even at best if one side or the other were to totally conquer the opponent, then I overall would lose.

            Speaking of life being a journey, it seems to me that it was not meant for us to be comfortable 100% of the time, nor perhaps safe either. If we were hyper-diligent and did everything correctly, every time, would that be “good” - is that then our “goal”? Certainly the opposite cannot be true, b/c then we’d be dead, but is the goal then the opposite, or is that a fallacy of False Dilemma? Moreover, is there just one path through life, that a “perfect” person would have taken, let’s say if they were in my situation, or are there many ways, and our flaws are what make us beautiful, in part? This is one area where religion has helped inform my thinking: the word “perfection” should (perhaps) rather not mean “lacking any flaw” so much as “being complete, lacking nothing (major)”. Therefore I do not strive to eliminate my flaws as if this is some kind of war and my goal is to murderize my opponent, but rather I accept them, embrace them even, and thereby find my peace. And then I get up off my butt and do something about them, one at a time, and it never sticks, but still I keep moving forward - and you know what? That is enough for me. Perhaps Nirvana, for us, is not absence of pain - or in other words, even if it was, we are human beings and not meant to exist in such a state? Thus, I do not want Discipline to always win, nor Comfort to always win, but rather both, each as seems best in the current moment. Maybe that’s stupid of me, but it’s a thought.

            Anyway, the context was that people love you, b/c you show care & attention to them - but I hope you also fail to do that sometimes as well too, so that you can take care of yourself as well? Yes, you read that correctly: I wish failure upon you (“muwha-ha, a pox upon thee!!”, ahem no wait, not like that!:-P), when/where/as appropriate, if that helps you to ultimately succeed. e.g. if you have a job interview the next morning, and you are fairly nervous about it, and then someone calls you at 2am needing something - perhaps they got drunk and wanted a ride home from 2 towns over or something - maybe don’t answer? Hopefully they’ll be fine, but you also need to be fine as well? The “right” thing to do in that moment may not always be to continue to give of yourself selflessly, if doing so would cost you a big job (which perhaps the drunk friend may not have even remembered, b/c of their drunkeness, but when sober they may have even agreed with the decision?). Anyway, you (Kendrick Lamar) already said it: “I choose me, I’m sorry” (hopefully not always as in “solely”, but at least sometimes it does need to be done!?).

            Btw, good luck with your whole house situation - I am certain that cannot be trivially easy to handle:-).

            • @Betch
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              8 months ago

              (Mac OSX for me, though I hear that some people on Lemmy prefer Arch btw:-D)

              Are you trying to tell me there are Linux users on Lemmy???

              Anyway, I love thinking such thoughts:-D. I have no idea if doing so offers practical benefits Well, they may and they may not! It all depends on if you sometimes share these thoughts or not. The time you spend thinking and the things you think about definitely has an impact on your future interactions. It does not if you never actually do anything with those thoughts. A person who spends all their time thinking has nothing but thoughts.

              It’s funny, recently I was thinking about electric car jailbreaking. It’s something that I find very interesting as electric cars these days kinda remind me of the early iPhone days. There are definitely people working on such things as we speak which can be a scary thought as this could be used for evil as easily as it could be used for good.

              According to such thinking then, if the Illuminati control the world, then can Anonymous help fix it, like Robin Hood?

              Well, good and evil are human creations. Like we’ve talked about in our previous comments, one can not exist without the other. If there is an “illuminati” there is going to, at least eventually, be an equal opposing force. They will eventually mutually destroy each other, giving way to a new good and evil of our own creation. It is a never ending cycle. At least that is how I see it.

              He (Trump) may have done a lot better than Hilary Clinton would have to cause them to be fixed? She would have papered over the whole situation - her whole message was just “the status quo is absolutely fine” - but it is FUCKING NOT FINE!!!?!!!

              Agreed. There is always good to be found in any situation if you know where to look. We sometimes focus way too much on the bad things themselves to realize that they actually have a role to play in fostering good. Of course nobody wants to be stuck in a system where they’re unhappy but if we’re “happy” all the time we grow complacent. Sometimes we need a good slap in the face to wake up.

              If this truly is a non-viable solution to begin with, then whatever we end up with later could potentially be better?

              Absolutely. I don’t think that means we should be pushing for the death of democracy, but if that’s how you feel then by all means, do it. Your thoughts and feelings about the situation are valid, as are everybody elses. It just remains to see if there are enough people who feel the same way for them to have enough mass to actually move things. Whatever happens happens.

              I still have my preferences about the whole affair (If you see yourself in others, whom can you harm?), and I happen to hate it:-P, and I am okay with having that emotion about it.

              Bahah, absolutely valid. You’ve had experiences that have shaped the way you view things and you are not wrong to have those thoughts.

              Perfection

              Ahhhh perfection lol. That is a fun concept. We have a broken definition of perfection because we do not understand that there is nothing that is “without flaw”. “Flaws” are part of a perfect design. I consider myself a perfectionist which is why I never get anything done. How perfect is that? I find it laughable when people praise God, saying he makes no mistakes, but then go on and talk about things being abominations in the eyes of God. Like who the fuck do you think you are to say things like that? Again I’m not much of a “religion” person, but the older I get, the more I realize that life IS actually perfect and if there is actually a God it indeed makes no mistakes. It is mind-blowing to me the system of checks and balances that are built into life itself. Every error eventually corrects itself, which can spell catastrophe for us as a species but in the grand scheme of things it is absolutely beautiful.

              Yes, you read that correctly: I wish failure upon you

              Thank you, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me 😭!!

              For real though, I am choosing myself now. More than I ever have and it has had a positive impact on everyone around me so far. I’m still available to everyone when they really need me but I’m not scared to say no when it’s not that important and I need to do my own things. If there are still abusers in my midst they will soon make themselves visible but so far so good.

              Btw, good luck with your whole house situation - I am certain that cannot be trivially easy to handle:-).

              Thank you, it has been absolute hell so far but I have some really good friends helping me with the things I’m not so good at and things are moving. I already have people lined up to rent the upstairs and I’m able to rent to them cheaper than all the other places they had looked at so I’m really happy about that. They seem like really good people too so I’m excited to have them as neighbors.

              • @[email protected]
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                28 months ago

                Linux users: I too might be one at heart:-). Maybe? Though I do so love my Mac… it has such a pwetty candy shell - and it is even more POSIX compliant than Linux! :-P

                Thoughts v. Actions: Our rights are steadily being taken away, though more often we simply given them away. I mentioned Mac vs. Linux so perhaps that is a good example: iOS is horrible, having everything locked down and not able to connect to your own device to do anything with it. Then again, Android is becoming increasingly like that as well, ever since Google got its hooks in. And yet, it is possible to administer your own device, even if it gets harder & harder over time. Mac OSX isn’t so bad, for a computer that you control, but iOS is, therefore that is where I draw the line.

                For cars, what if like a police-person demanded access to your vehicle, and if their company override did not work, they could confiscate the car? Do you “own” your own vehicle? Worst of all, you have to pay the full price as if you did, so you do not even get the benefits of leasing - like if a hurricane destroyed it, who loses out - you or the company that leased it to you? (I don’t even know, does leasing work that way!?:-P) - and yet you depend on “leasing” the software, in perpetuity. So one day, if someone gets the bright idea that “going green” means not doing anything at all to actually work towards saving the planet, but instead everyone has to buy Musk-brand EVs (others have not been pre-approved so do not qualify), then at that point yeah I’d consider jailbreaking a car. Though the risk could be that you could lose the whole vehicle - Might may not Make Right, but it sure can be a powerful jackboot to come down upon your neck, if it so chooses. So like everything else, it would be a cost-benefit tradeoff.:-|

                I don’t know if good & evil are human conventions - I mean obviously to some extent, definitely the part about what we “accept” is - but also, most people innately seem to feel certain things, so by virtue of being “natural”, are those things that are in-grained and inherent in us (and also other animals as well) the Truth, that we need to discover and obey b/c that is what will generate maximal Happiness for us?

                To clarify, I am not “pushing” for the death of democracy. I am worried sick that it is coming, regardless of my wishes either way. I do not control the Maga-hat-Repubs, nor the corporate-stooge-Democrats either, and it looks like both sides are in agreement that e.g. the bottom HALF of all of Americans “should” only have 2% of the entire wealth of this country. I did not make that figure up btw… (article 1, from 5 years ago, and updated article 2). Why that is relevant is that no matter who wins the next election, the “American Dream” (white picket fence, ability to afford a child, 2.3 dogs or whatever) has already died, at least for the simple majority of citizenry.

                Perfection & mistakes: setting aside a God or even a rung further down to a mere Creator, if we had a perfect “Father” or “President” or some such, or even “boss” at work, then would they not allow us to make our own mistakes, as part of thier being perfect? How else could we possibly learn? How else could we possibly be happy, if we were all robots will no free will, or more precisely not even the illusion of thus? On the other hand, sheeple gonna sheep, and that’s all there is to it: for many, what religion (or politics, or anything at all) “means” is that some book said it, hence it MUST be true - they don’t bother to figure it out, or even to search for proper interpretations. B/c they are stupid… and we have to come to terms with that - they just do not have capacity to evaluate such things, therefore they do not. Especially a parent/couple spending all of their time raising kids. I find that irl I have much more in common with people of all religions who are thinkers, than I do with people who may just so happen to believe similar word-sounds as myself, but who don’t have the faintest idea what those concepts even mean. Hehe, Jesus Himself agrees: “be ye either hot or cold, but for fucks sake, at least care about it one way or the other you f-ing plebes!?” (hehe, I may have modified that slightly:-D)

                You are an awesome person and I love hearing how you think:-).

                • @Betch
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                  28 months ago

                  Linux users: I too might be one at heart:-)

                  Yeah I might be one too. I really want to use Linux and I’ve tried it many times but I have had issues with it every single time. Now I only use Linux as a print server for my 3D printer, it’s amazing for that.

                  I loved iOS back in the day, IF it was jailbroken but after the iPhone 4 I switched to Android and never looked back. I currently despise my Android phone though. I hate what Samsung has done with their flavour of Android. It feels SO invasive. Currently looking at Pixel phones so I can use GrapheneOS.

                  For cars, what if like a police-person demanded access to your vehicle, and if their company override did not work, they could confiscate the car?

                  I wouldn’t be surprised if one day things devolved that far but being the ODD-type person I am, that would just make me want to jailbreak it even more.

                  To me, leasing the operating system that your car runs on basically means you don’t own your car and that is a major turn off. Automatic updates, having features one day and not having them the next, etc.

                  who loses out - you or the company that leased it to you? (I don’t even know, does leasing work that way!?:-P)

                  Bahah I really have no clue, I have never leased a car. Always bought used and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

                  I don’t care about repercussions all that much, I’d rather deal with them if/when they come than stop myself from doing things just because I’m scared something may happen. Of course that depends on the situation but if we’re talking about modifying a device that you bought and paid for then I will do what I want, as long as I’m not endangering anyone. If I’m costing a multi-billion dollar corporation a couple dollars than that’s just something I’d be proud of.

                  I don’t know if good & evil are human conventions - I mean obviously to some extent, definitely the part about what we “accept” is

                  I mean, I don’t know either but yeah, I meant more like what we accept. I guess the way I see it is like, what if in the future, the only humans that are left to reproduce are the ones with psychopathic traits? They might have a whole other definition of what is good and what is bad/evil. I guess I don’t really know what goes on in the mind of a psychopath either so that hypothetical is probably not worth much hahah. Some animals do things that would seem absolutely evil to us, but would they think of it that way? I guess we don’t really know what they think about today or if they even think at all but whatever hahah.

                  are those things that are in-grained and inherent in us (and also other animals as well) the Truth, that we need to discover and obey b/c that is what will generate maximal Happiness for us?

                  It could very well be. We’ve evolved as a social species so it is in our best interest that everybody around us is happy and healthy. When things/people from outside our society threatens our health and happiness, we can commit great evils like it was nothing at all.

                  To clarify, I am not “pushing” for the death of democracy

                  Oh I wasn’t saying that you yourself actually were but more like, IF you were, I’d totally understand and respect it. Can’t blame anyone for being sick of this shit. You can’t get mad at a river for flowing where it does.

                  it looks like both sides are in agreement that e.g. the bottom HALF of all of Americans “should” only have 2% of the entire wealth of this country.

                  Yeah well that is a huge problem, but I doubt that most of the voters think that. That’s all the corruption. We don’t have a real choice anymore and it’s going to take a lot to change that. I’m all for eating the ultra-wealthy. People will eventually realize that they’re actually in an American Nightmare, wake up and demand their power back, at least I hope so. At that point, maybe the ruling class will loosen the leash a bit, or maybe they’ll kill us all or just leave the continent and let the vultures come pick at our dying carcasses, who knows.

                  then would they not allow us to make our own mistakes, as part of thier being perfect?

                  Well, maybe perfection includes accepting that mistakes are a part of getting to perfection. I guess it depends on how far we take “perfection” but if we were all born “perfect” for the world we are in, would we know how to deal with things that are unpredictable? Then again, absolute perfection could take away all the things that are unpredictable. I dunno, this whole line of thinking is breaking my brain at the moment hahah.

                  they don’t bother to figure it out, or even to search for proper interpretations. B/c they are stupid… and we have to come to terms with that - they just do not have capacity to evaluate such things, therefore they do not.

                  Well, some might not. Some were just indoctrinated so heavily from a young age that they can’t even conceive that their religion is not the Truth. I wouldn’t say they’re all stupid, but they certainly don’t waste time questioning these things like we do and I’m not sure that’s 100% a bad thing. For me it’s a bad thing because I enjoy thinking about these things and I do not want to blindly believe what a thousands of years old book is telling me about the nature of our existence. If I ended up at the same conclusion as my “Assigned Religion At Birth”, I wouldn’t be mad about wasting all that time thinking about it because that’s the game I decided to play and I didn’t want to just read the walkthrough.

                  Of course there’s always gonna be people who only have the capacity to repeat the things that were said to them. Those are the dangerous ones, the ones who are ripe for use and abuse. It is our responsibility to take care of them.

                  I find that irl I have much more in common with people of all religions who are thinkers, than I do with people who may just so happen to believe similar word-sounds as myself, but who don’t have the faintest idea what those concepts even mean.

                  Absolutely. I find I have much more in common with a religious thinker than I do with 99% of the people you’d find in Atheist communities even though you could easily think it’d be the opposite.

                  “be ye either hot or cold, but for fucks sake, at least care about it one way or the other you f-ing plebes!?”

                  100% my favorite passage!

                  You are an awesome person and I love hearing how you think:-).

                  It is reciprocal.

                  • @[email protected]
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                    28 months ago

                    Linux: I love the logic, the precision, the customizability… but I also like it when things werk, which it often has major issues with. Then again, I use Linux at my job on a daily basis, and even on my Unix Mac OSX I use things like the CLI and gVim, so I enjoy having that stability at home. Especially when I need to use a laptop - I need to be able to do things like connect to someone else’s wifi without having to install package dependencies first.

                    I bought an Apple phone once, expecting to eventually jailbreak it. But they took that capability away, so when it died I switched back to Android and will never even consider going back. Now, I too have a Samsung S22+ - and it is the only phone I have ever had that I outright despise. Tbf, I consider that my own fault for not selling my soul to them - yes it is on them for asking such, but I knew who they were, and decided to roll the dice on them anyway. I really miss the days when flagship killers existed, like the most famous one of all time OnePlus 7 (before the co-founder left the company when they announced their new direction to use the ColorOS used on all those cheap Huawei phones), and before that the Nexus line. I might try a Fairphone next, maybe? Or just a cheap dumbphone even - “smart” ones are more like “smartass” these days:-(. Pixels would be great - especially if you want to replace the OS - but I hardly use my camera as it is, and the specs otherwise are not great unless you spend much more, and there seems no longer to be a way to turn that around and get a “high-end phone with a cheap-ass camera”.

                    I thought - though I couldn’t readily point to any and I could be wrong - that studies have shown that children seem to have some kind of innate sense of “right vs. wrong”? Like if you walk up and take their candy away from them, they scream “hey, that’s not fair!”, like that would have a chance of working (and why wouldn’t it? but if the scene changed and these were gorillas instead of humans, then wouldn’t that have a possibility of getting yourself literally killed, for daring to challenge the larger apes, as an object lesson of power and “know your place”?). So, at least at the early stages, Might vs. Right may be in opposition to that kind of preschool/kindergarten level of morality? And then everything after that is modified by societal pressures - like spoiled children are “spoiled” by teaching them that their wants & needs matter more to their parents than the wants & needs of others. Like maybe they go out to eat and the kid of wealthy parents sees the servants jump at every whim of the master, and by implication the child as well - not understanding yet that they are being paid+tipped to do so - and internalize that sense of “I am a higher being than those sort are”.

                    So if morality changes in the future - as it 100% definitely will - it seems doubtful that the Nature side of it would be altered much, in a short period of time (in the evolutionary/geological timescale sense), and rather that the Nurture side would teach them differently. At which point I hope that they will be taught what works rather than what does not. In that sense, I like how the Bible - the collected wisdom of the ages - and basically every other revered tome like it from all religions across the globe acts to preserve what has been learned. e.g. adultery is bad (hurt feelings leading to all manner of problems), and unless under highly constrained circumstances, murder due to hot-headed feelings in the moment is bad, and stealing from someone is bad (it gets dicey when a rich fuck decides “this is mine now” - is it really stealing to simply take back what is yours? so having mentioned it, I will now promptly ignore it henceforth:-D), and so on. To the extent that these laws may capture something innate inside of us all, then it is good for us to have learned them. Perhaps in the future - or even now already - we can separate out the “religion” parts from what is truly good. As Jesus Himself offered: “be thou not dicks to one another, and instead be most excellent to one another, my dudes”.

                    And this is why I am turning more to religious thoughts lately, though it could be any alternative to politics - non- or not-for-profits, non-governmental organizations (NGOs), or extremely rarely even inside of those, like the Mr. Rogers character was a MOST EXCELLENT human being, both on- and off-camera (and too Gene Rodenberry, creator of Star Trek). Anyway the goal is: how can we help people, even when the major trend of that river of society is trying to bend away from that goal (taking away people’s livelihoods, making them work for literally DECADES to pay back student loans that are corruptly administered - i.e. a form of literal, actual, irl “slavery” if you will)? Occasionally I see a story that gives me hope (e.g. this one where he tries to fight against the trend), but they do seem to be coming much more rarely than in the past.:-| In any case, I need to create my own to attach meaning to in the more local sense of my own cares & wants & needs:-).

                    One problem with trying to define “perfection” is the age-old adage of what does the word “good” even mean? In the engineering sense, it means “good for something”, like a spoon is good for eating one type of, more liquidy, foodstuffs, whereas a knife is good for an entirely different and while not totally at least partially nonoverlapping set of foodstuffs, and then a knife is quite a bit different still from either (and as that movie Wall-E perfectly illustrates: sporks have their own whole thing going on!:-P). If you wanted to eat a soup, either a fork or a knife - or chopsticks, etc. - would not be “good”. And framed in that manner, we already immediately see that this is a whole non-starter, b/c paper > rock > scissors > …, which invalidates the logical chain of transitory thinking that if A leads to B and B leads to C, then surely A must lead to C as well, right? (nope! b/c otherwise, paper would beat scissors too) So the best we could ever hope for is to say that item A is good for some particular purpose, not good in any kind of objective, overall sense. At which point… how would “perfection” have a chance there of being tied to something in the objective world, if even “good” does not? Hence it remains subjective, unless we switch the meaning to some kind of objective standard - as in “lacking nothing” i.e. has all components of set X as defined by…

                    Humans, really all mammals, then have this whole wonderful thing where we are not perfect, and that adaptability to change is what has gotten us this far, even when dinosaurs and cockroaches and fishes and such - as measured by length of evolutionary time - were much more of a “success”. They were much more “attuned” to their specific circumstances, i.e. a highly defined set of parameters, whereas we are not, and therefore we are the only species that has even a ghost of a chance of possibly outlasting even our planet Earth instead (that we could create ourselves I mean - ofc whatever animals and such we took with us could go as well).

                    “Assigned Religion At Birth” -> I love that phrase, Imma have to steal it now!:-P I have already changed mine several times, and I absolutely see no reason to stick with things merely b/c they are old. Tbf, it does have some demonstrated value, but for those of us who can do better, we don’t need that - e.g. whenever we see the hypocrisy (e.g. priest “on the take”… or much worse), we can simply nope out and move on to greener pastures.

                    I would argue that sheeple - precisely like zombies - are not all that dangerous, at least individually, though en mass they constitute a real force to be reconed with. Even there, the necromancer behind them (if present) controlling that force is the REAL danger, b/c even if they lose every single one of those sheeple-tools, they can still come at you with new ones (money gives them power). George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead had several perfect examples, where like there were zero zombies present inside of a locked room, but then one of the living people died, and after that there was one zombie present. So it is not “the zombies” that were the chief danger, it was that space radiation or whatever in that case, that could continue to make more zombies. And in other genres like Resident Evil, the zombies were at the extreme low end of the spectrum of danger, which the company hid behind and continued to make MANY more, even more highly dangerous thingies and stuff and junk. And irl, Putin himself is no sheeple. Even if he were stripped of Fox News, and the entire nation of Russia, he still is iirc the literal top number 1 wealthiest person alive on the planet, plus his store of secrets that he could use to blackmail all the most powerful people, would make him (or whoever inherits all of that) quite a dangerous adversary indeed - entirely independent of unthinking Americans voting for conservative politicians. Especially if he also controls the liberal politicians too:-(.

                    I hope I am not straining your brain too awfully much - I trust you to say no though and slow down your responses, i.e. to take care of yourself first!