I went to the neurologist this morning and after all of his tests, he said he couldn’t find anything neurological that could be wrong with me. He thought it might be behavioral, but that wouldn’t explain the morning heaving. He sent all of my records back to the gastro doctor and we’ll see what they say when they get back to us. So I’m kind of feeling a bit deflated.

Meanwhile, my mother is driving me insane to the point that I had a minor breakdown in the car while she was yelling at me. I had to repeat over and over that she needed to be quiet and she kept saying things like, “you have so many rules!” Finally, I said, '“these are the code words. If you hear me say the exact sentence, ‘you are making me anxious’ she had to be quiet and count to 30 in her head.” She agreed. Angrily. She doesn’t find that reasonable.

She’s also quite hard of hearing despite having hearing aids, so I’m having my wife sit in during these evaluations via Facetime so I can tell my mother “the doctor didn’t say that” and have someone else agree. It still hasn’t worked 100% of the time, but it has worked.

Also, every single time there is a possible diagnosis or she reads something that she thinks sounds like my symptoms (and she’s always wrong about that), she decides that’s definitely what I have and she definitely knows what should be done about it.

This time it’s worse, because she was a psychotherapist and she actually knows a little about behavioral therapy. But I feel really bad for her clients, because they had a totally crazy lady for a therapist. And she kept some of them on for like a decade after she officially retired. They came to her house. So they actually liked whatever she did for them. All I can think is that she has a completely different personality as a therapist.

Oh, she also thinks that the dry heaving every morning is inconsequential and I should just accept that I’m going to have to live with it the rest of my life. What. The. Fuck?

I guess it’s been so long since I’ve spent more than a few hours with her that I forgot how truly nuts she is. And a bit on the narcissistic side.

Edit: Ugh. This fucking guy again.

  • tygerprints
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    21 month ago

    Well I didn’t mean to add to your weary-ness, trust me. I’m dealing with that myself and am all too aware of how it all wears you down.

    Im dragging my ass around lately, totally depleted by this thing and also sleeplessness and a racking cough, among other things. So trust me I get where you’re at.

    let’s hope they can find the right diagnosis that really helps you get better quickly. Good luck with it!!

    • Flying SquidOP
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      21 month ago

      I’m really sorry to hear it. I hope you find a solution. And about the cannabis thing, like I said, I don’t blame you for it. It’s an obvious possibility. The bigger issue is I had to block a guy this morning for telling me that’s what it was in multiple threads and multiple PMs and said the doctors were wrong when they ruled it out, so I blocked him.

      You’re just making a friendly suggestion, so I have no problem with you making it, I’m just still exhausted from that exchange.

      • tygerprints
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        21 month ago

        I can’t blame you for blocking him. With me, I get annoyed that people keep offering their “suggestions” when I know they are way off the mark.

        All you can do is find a way to deal with what you’ve got, and sometimes it’s really just a matter of going off by yourself and shutting out the rest of the world.

        • Flying SquidOP
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          11 month ago

          Very true. I’m just hoping I get better answers before we leave next Tuesday.

          • tygerprints
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            21 month ago

            Well best of luck with it and I hope you do get the answers that you need (and that your mom gets off your back!).