I’m not talking about any facial-hair style that includes a beard. I’m talking about these guys who have brought back the “just a moustache, and it’s a really ugly, really creeper-ish moustache” style.

You see this shit on influencers, pro sports players in every league, random motherfuckers working at Wal-Mart, random dudes out in public, professionals in all industries, and anywhere else you can think of. Just everywhere. It seems to cut across all social strata. I particularly see this shit on white dudes, but maybe a lot of Black, Latino, and Asian dudes are doing it, too, and I just haven’t noticed as much, because (I guess this could be controversial???) it just doesn’t look nearly as bad on those guys.

But these young white dudes, rocking the 1970s creepo 'stache really are everywhere AND I JUST DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.

Guys, it’s fucking hideous. It looks good on NOBODY. Occasionally, you’ll see a guy with one of these, and he’s just so naturally, GQ-cover handsome that he powers through the debuff, and still looks okay. But that same guy would look EVEN BETTER if he didn’t have a horrible moustache.

Please stop. I don’t know if this is some kind of ironic thing, or if it started as an ironic thing, only to become normalized. But just please stop.

Especially stop, if you legit cannot grow a moustache. Either shave that shit or pair it with a beard of some description. Obviously, I’m an asshole for telling you what to do with your face, but as a middle-aged guy, I just feel like saying this shit, as advice if nothing else.

I remember when ugly-ass, creepy-ass moustaches were still in fashion, in the 1980s. They were awful and ugly. And then people regained their sanity. But then, somehow, that shit came back, about ten or twelve years ago. And that shit needs to be sent back to fashion hell.

  • @jeffw
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    39 months ago

    15-20%? It’s less than 5% and I think I’m being generous there.

    I agree it looks weird though…

    • Chill Dude 69OP
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      9 months ago

      Yeah, I probably overestimated. But only because of the weirdness of the phenomenon. That moustache style had dropped to functionally zero percent of civilians, from about 1991 to 2014. And then suddenly it reemerged, in actually visible quantities. Like, overnight.

      I think this situation lives rent-free in my head, at least partially because I want to know if there’s some kind of ground-zero point, where the reemergence came from. Was it a specific celebrity? Maybe in a period movie role? Something like that?

      • @jeffw
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        29 months ago

        It’s probably just like fashion. It’s all cyclical. One decade it’s gross, the next it’s cool and retro

        You’d think a pedo stache wouldn’t be cool or retro though lol

        • Chill Dude 69OP
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          9 months ago

          You’d think a pedo stache wouldn’t be cool or retro though lol

          My thoughts exactly. I guess the younger generation really just didn’t see enough of those moustaches to actually build up the association with creepy douchebags.

          Like I said to someone else in this thread, I see one of those moustaches and it’s like the guy holding a sign that says “I’m going to date your aunt, knock her up, and then beat the shit out of her. All while keeping a pack of gas-station-brand cigarettes constantly rolled up in my t-shirt sleeve.”