I’m not talking about any facial-hair style that includes a beard. I’m talking about these guys who have brought back the “just a moustache, and it’s a really ugly, really creeper-ish moustache” style.
You see this shit on influencers, pro sports players in every league, random motherfuckers working at Wal-Mart, random dudes out in public, professionals in all industries, and anywhere else you can think of. Just everywhere. It seems to cut across all social strata. I particularly see this shit on white dudes, but maybe a lot of Black, Latino, and Asian dudes are doing it, too, and I just haven’t noticed as much, because (I guess this could be controversial???) it just doesn’t look nearly as bad on those guys.
But these young white dudes, rocking the 1970s creepo 'stache really are everywhere AND I JUST DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.
Guys, it’s fucking hideous. It looks good on NOBODY. Occasionally, you’ll see a guy with one of these, and he’s just so naturally, GQ-cover handsome that he powers through the debuff, and still looks okay. But that same guy would look EVEN BETTER if he didn’t have a horrible moustache.
Please stop. I don’t know if this is some kind of ironic thing, or if it started as an ironic thing, only to become normalized. But just please stop.
Especially stop, if you legit cannot grow a moustache. Either shave that shit or pair it with a beard of some description. Obviously, I’m an asshole for telling you what to do with your face, but as a middle-aged guy, I just feel like saying this shit, as advice if nothing else.
I remember when ugly-ass, creepy-ass moustaches were still in fashion, in the 1980s. They were awful and ugly. And then people regained their sanity. But then, somehow, that shit came back, about ten or twelve years ago. And that shit needs to be sent back to fashion hell.
Then you probably realize that the issue lies with you rather than all those young men.
I’m pointing this out because all this reminds me of a situation I have been in a few times, where boomers and gen X-ers attacked me for being bald, as some of them associate being bald with being a nazi. Sorry ma’am, I’m just bald. If that makes you think I’m a nazi, that’s on you.
I might have felt like arguing further, but I’m also bald, so you’ve kinda hit me in my Achilles…uhhh…scalp. I’ve had the same thing happen, where weirdos thought I was a skinhead.
It’s a really gross feeling, and it’s part of what made me stop shaving my remaining hair, and just go back to the “I have some of my hair, whatever” look.
Thanks for being an intelligent, obviously literate member of your age group, by the way. I mean, Jesus Christ, you actually use commas. The moustache thing is an oddly specific complaint that I objectively never should have made. My real, legit, chilled-to-the-bone terror that I feel when I think about your age group comes from the fact that a lot of y’all LITERALLY CANNOT TYPE A WHOLE PARAGRAPH OF GRAMATICALLY CORRECT TEXT, IN YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE, EVEN IF YOUR LIVES ACTUALLY DEPENDED ON IT.
And I mean, I’m given to understand that the younger kids who are just now graduating high school (or, rather, somehow being allowed to graduate, under entirely false pretenses) are literally, truly, actually illiterate.
I have this awful feeling that I’m going to have to re-train as an engineer, so that I can help to run an electrical generation or water treatment plant, and work there until I am 130 years old, because the Tik-Tok generation is simply entirely useless and unable to assume that work.