For a dollar and some change, Patchy makes paper cup orders out of a supermarket trolley using instant coffee, boiled water stored in a Thermos, white sugar, and blue cap milk.
Pay $2, and Patchy will throw in two biscuits for your troubles - a stark difference in price compared to the cafés sitting above him in Commercial Bay, where you’re more likely to purchase a coffee and cookie for $10 and above.
Patchy was told on Thursday morning by Auckland Council he will need a permit to continue operating his wallet-friendly business.
Luckily, sudden TikTok fame and his can-do attitude has won him over a group of supportive fans - some of whom have even set up a Givealittle page to help him pay for the permit and the tools needed to make his business official.
This is like half the plot of that Seth Rogan movie with the pickles.