Hey, I appreciate that.

My brother did even better than me. He faced the threat of losing his wife who he had somehow managed to hide his addiction from for 5 years. She wasn’t having it. She told him to get clean or get lost.

He went to my mom’s, got in bed, faced the withdrawal with no assistance, left her place clean. He was immediately hounded by everyone offering him drugs or asking for drugs. He relapsed, went back to my mom’s place, went through the horror again, and then left for police academy.

His logic was, “not only am I the right kind of person for that job, but I dare anyone to offer me drugs when they know what my job is.”

He hasn’t looked back and he and his wife have been happily married for 14 years.

I actually required rehabilitation. I went through withdrawal intentionally one time and that was enough for me. Once I relapsed I just couldn’t do it again. I am in a permanent medication assisted program. I don’t like it, but I like it better than being a junkie on the outskirts of society, one bad moment away from being locked in a cage.

I wish I had his strength. I really do. He was always stronger than me though, physically, mentally, spiritually. I don’t do religion, but I wish I had that whole larger purpose thing going on.

For me, my purpose is simple. I have to guide my kids through this world better than my parents did. Not that I’m saying anything bad about my parents. They were a mess but they did the best they could with what they had.