Well, I got some really good news recently- VA’s Voc rehab got back to me (finally) and they’re gonna pay for my school- yay! But I’m struggling to act on it. For the first time in my life i’m procrastinating getting some of the paperwork done by cleaning up around the house. I am notoriously chaotic and my home is notoriously messy, but today it’s all swept, all the laundry is done, the dishes are done and dried and put away… Granted it’s sunday and I can’t go see the people I need to see, but I guess there’s this impending sense of dread/anxiety about going to school. It’s been over a decade now, I’m 32. I’m smart enough, I don’t doubt that, but any discipline or work ethic I once possessed is kaput. Also extremely not-stoked about the schools that are available to a person in my position. I wouldn’t mind relocating, but my lease renewed in january, so I’m committed here for at least another 8 months.
Also a certain almost-imperceptible angst about my life’s lack of accomplishment up to this point, which you’d think would be diminished by my upcoming schooling, but is rather magnified for some reason. Sort of in the back of my mind, like.
In a word, I feel overwhelmed. In another word; “Pbbbbbbt.”
Thank you for that explanation! I’m sorry you are overwhelmed, but really happy you get your schooling paid for, that’s important. Do you know what you are going to study?
I think it’s so interesting how we humans act in situations where something unexpectedly good happens. It’s not always an excited reaction followed by inspired action, is it? I think anxiety is so normal in your position, I’d feel it too. I don’t know how it’s going to work for you, but when I went to grad school at 36, I started feeling motivation and recovering my work ethic once I got into the courses and excited about the subjects. before getting there, I totally felt some dread. Maybe the same will happen for you once you start?
Well, I got some really good news recently- VA’s Voc rehab got back to me (finally) and they’re gonna pay for my school- yay! But I’m struggling to act on it. For the first time in my life i’m procrastinating getting some of the paperwork done by cleaning up around the house. I am notoriously chaotic and my home is notoriously messy, but today it’s all swept, all the laundry is done, the dishes are done and dried and put away… Granted it’s sunday and I can’t go see the people I need to see, but I guess there’s this impending sense of dread/anxiety about going to school. It’s been over a decade now, I’m 32. I’m smart enough, I don’t doubt that, but any discipline or work ethic I once possessed is kaput. Also extremely not-stoked about the schools that are available to a person in my position. I wouldn’t mind relocating, but my lease renewed in january, so I’m committed here for at least another 8 months.
Also a certain almost-imperceptible angst about my life’s lack of accomplishment up to this point, which you’d think would be diminished by my upcoming schooling, but is rather magnified for some reason. Sort of in the back of my mind, like.
In a word, I feel overwhelmed. In another word; “Pbbbbbbt.”
Thank you for that explanation! I’m sorry you are overwhelmed, but really happy you get your schooling paid for, that’s important. Do you know what you are going to study?
I think it’s so interesting how we humans act in situations where something unexpectedly good happens. It’s not always an excited reaction followed by inspired action, is it? I think anxiety is so normal in your position, I’d feel it too. I don’t know how it’s going to work for you, but when I went to grad school at 36, I started feeling motivation and recovering my work ethic once I got into the courses and excited about the subjects. before getting there, I totally felt some dread. Maybe the same will happen for you once you start?